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The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle

T >> Tobias Smollett >> The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle




Peregrine not only relished, but forthwith acted in conformity with
this good counsel. His own horses were committed to the charge of
the landlord, with directions for Pipes, in case he should come in
quest of his master: and, a couple of stout geldings being prepared,
he and his valet took the road again, steering their course according
to the motions of the post-boy, who undertook to be their guide.
They had almost finished the first stage, when they descried a
post-chaise just halting at the inn where they proposed to change
horses; upon which our adventurer, glowing with a most interesting
presage, put his beast to the full speed, and approached near enough
to distinguish, as the travellers quitted the carriage, that he
had at last come up with the very individual persons whom he had
pursued so long.

Flushed with this discovery, he galloped into the yard so suddenly,
that the lady and her conductor scarce had time to shut themselves
up in a chamber, to which they retreated with great precipitation;
so that the pursuer was now certain of having housed his prey. That
he might, however, leave nothing to fortune, he placed himself upon
the stair by which they had ascended to the apartment, and sent
up his compliments to the young lady, desiring the favour of being
admitted to her presence, otherwise he should be obliged to waive
all ceremony, and take that liberty which she would not give. The
servant, having conveyed his message through the keyhole, returned
with an answer, importing that she would adhere to the resolution
she had taken, and perish, rather than comply with his will. Our
adventurer, without staying to make any rejoinder to this reply,
ran upstairs, and, thundering at the door for entrance, was given
to understand by the nymph's attendant, that a blunderbuss was
ready primed for his reception, and that he would do well to spare
him the necessity of shedding blood in defence of a person who had
put herself under his protection. "All the laws of the land," said
he, "cannot now untie the knots by which we are bound together;
and therefore I will guard her as my own property; so that you
had better desist from your fruitless attempt, and thereby consult
your own safety; for, by the God that made me! I will discharge my
piece upon you, as soon as you set your nose within the door; and
your blood be upon your own head."

These menaces, from a citizen's clerk, would have been sufficient
motives for Pickle to storm the breach, although they had not been
reinforced by that declaration, which informed him of Emilia's
having bestowed herself in marriage upon such a contemptible rival.
This sole consideration added wings to his impetuosity, and he
applied his foot to the door with such irresistible force, as burst
it open in an instant, entering at the same time with a pistol
ready cocked in his hand. His antagonist, instead of firing his
blunderbuss, when he saw him approach, started back with evident
signs of surprise and consternation, exclaiming, "Lord Jesus! Sir,
you are not the man! and, without doubt, are under some mistake with
regard to us." Before Peregrine had time to answer this salutation,
the lady, hearing it, advanced to him, and, pulling off a mask,
discovered a face which he had never seen before. The Gorgon's head,
according to the fables of antiquity, never had a more instantaneous
or petrifying effect, than that which this countenance produced
upon the astonished youth. His eyes were fixed upon this unknown
object, as if they had been attracted by the power of enchantment,
his feet seemed riveted to the ground, and, after having stood
motionless for the space of a few minutes, he dropped down in an
apoplexy of disappointment and despair. The Swiss, who had followed
him, seeing his master in this condition, lifted him up, and,
laying him upon a bed in the next room, let him blood immediately,
without hesitation, being always provided with a case of lancets,
against all accidents on the road. To this foresight our hero, in all
probability, was indebted for his life. By virtue of a very copious
evacuation, he recovered the use of his senses; but the complication
of fatigues and violent transports, which he had undergone, brewed
up a dangerous fever in his blood; and, a physician being called
from the next market-town, several days elapsed before he would
answer for his life.





CHAPTER LXXIX.




Peregrine sends a Message to Mrs. Gauntlet, who rejects his
Proposal--He repairs to the Garrison.


At length, however, his constitution overcame his disease, though
not before it had in a great measure tamed the fury of his disposition,
and brought him to a serious consideration of his conduct. In this
humiliation of his spirits, he reflected with shame and remorse
upon his treachery to the fair, the innocent Emilia; he remembered
his former sentiments in her favour, as well as the injunctions
of his dying uncle; he recollected his intimacy with her brother,
against which he had so basely sinned; and, revolving all the
circumstances of her conduct, found it so commendable, spirited, and
noble, that he deemed her an object of sufficient dignity to merit
his honourable addresses, even though his duty had not been concerned
in this decision. But, obligated as he was to make reparation to a
worthy family, which he had so grossly injured, he thought he could
not manifest his reformation too soon; and, whenever he found himself
able to hold a pen, wrote a letter to Mrs. Gauntlet, wherein he
acknowledged, with many expressions of sorrow and contrition, that
he had acted a part altogether unbecoming a man of honour, and
should never enjoy the least tranquility of mind, until he should
have merited her forgiveness. He protested, that, although his
happiness entirely depended upon the determination of Emilia, he
would even renounce all hope of being blessed with her favour, if
she could point out any other method of making reparation to that
amiable young lady, but by laying his heart and fortune at her
feet, and submitting himself to her pleasure during the remaining
part of his life. He conjured her, therefore, in the most pathetic
manner, to pardon him, in consideration of his sincere repentance,
and to use her maternal influence with her daughter, so as that he
might be permitted to wait upon her with a wedding ring, as soon
as his health would allow him to undertake the journey.

This explanation being despatched by Pipes, who had, by this time,
found his master, the young gentleman inquired about the couple
whom he had so unfortunately pursued, and understood from his
valet-de-chambre, who learned the story from their own mouths, that
the lady was the only daughter of a rich Jew, and her attendant no
other than his apprentice, who had converted her to Christianity,
and married her at the same time; that this secret having taken
air, the old Israelite had contrived a scheme to separate them for
ever; and they being apprised of his intention, had found means
to elope from his house, with a view of sheltering themselves in
France, until the affair could be made up; that, seeing three men
ride after them with such eagerness, they never doubted that the
pursuers were her father, and some friends, or domestics, and on
that supposition had fled with the utmost despatch and trepidation,
until they had found themselves happily undeceived, at that very
instant when they expected nothing but mischief and misfortune.
Lastly, the Swiss gave him to understand, that, after having
professed some concern for his deplorable situation, and enjoyed a
slight refreshment, they had taken their departure for Dover, and,
in all likelihood, were safely arrived at Paris.

In four-and-twenty hours after Pipes was charged with his commission,
he brought back an answer from the mother of Emilia, couched in
these words:--

Sir,--I received the favour of yours, and am glad, for your
own sake, that you have attained a due sense and conviction
of your unkind and unchristian behaviour to poor Emy. I thank
God, none of my children were ever so insulted before. Give
me leave to tell you, sir, my daughter was no upstart, without
friends or education, but a young lady, as well bred, and
better born, than most private gentlewomen in the kingdom;
and therefore, though you had no esteem for her person, you
ought to have paid some regard to her family, which, no
disparagement to you, sir, is more honourable than your own.
As for your proposal, Miss Gauntlet will not hear of it,
being that she thinks her honour will not allow her to listen
to any terms of reconciliation; and she is not yet so
destitute as to embrace an offer to which she has the least
objection. In the meantime, she is so much indisposed, that
she cannot possibly see company; so I beg you will not take
the trouble of making a fruitless journey to this place.
Perhaps your future conduct may deserve her forgiveness,
and really, as I am concerned for your happiness, which you
assure me depends upon her condescension, I wish with all my
heart it may; and am, notwithstanding all that has happened,
your sincere well-wisher. "Cecilia Gauntlet."

From this epistle, and the information of his messenger, our hero
learned, that his mistress had actually profited by his wild-goose
chase, so as to make a safe retreat to her mother's house. Though
sorry to hear of her indisposition, he was also piqued at her
implacability, as well as at some stately paragraphs of the letter,
in which, he thought, the good lady had consulted her own vanity,
rather than her good sense. These motives of resentment helped him
to bear his disappointment like a philosopher, especially as he had
now quieted his conscience, in proffering to redress the injury he
had done; and, moreover, found himself, with regard to his love,
in a calm state of hope and resignation.

A seasonable fit of illness is an excellent medicine for the
turbulence of passion. Such a reformation had the fever produced
on the economy of his thoughts, that he moralized like an apostle,
and projected several prudential schemes for his future conduct. In
the meantime, as soon as his health was sufficiently re-established,
he took a trip to the garrison, in order to visit his friends;
and learned from Hatchway's own mouth, that he had broke the ice
of courtship to his aunt, and that his addresses were now fairly
afloat; though, when he first declared himself to the widow, after
she had been duly prepared for the occasion, by her niece and the
rest of her friends, she had received his proposal with a becoming
reserve, and piously wept at the remembrance of her husband,
observing, that she should never meet with his fellow.

Peregrine promoted the lieutenant's suit with all his influence,
and all Mrs. Trunnion's objections to the match being surmounted,
it was determined, that the day of marriage should be put off for
three months, that her reputation might not suffer by a precipitate
engagement. His next care was to give orders for erecting a plain
marble monument to the memory of his uncle, on which the following
inscription, composed by the bridegroom, actually appeared in golden
letters:

Here lies,
Foundered in a fathom and half,
The shell
Of
HAWSER TRUNNION, Esq.
Formerly commander of a squadron
In his Majesty's service,
Who broached to, at five P.M. Oct. 10,
In the year of his age threescore and nineteen.

He kept his guns always loaded,
And his tackle ready mann'd,
And never showed his poop to the enemy,
Except when he took her in tow;
But, His shot being expended, His match burnt out,
And his upper works decayed,
He was sunk by Death's superior weight of metal.

Nevertheless,
He will be weighed again at the Great Day,
His rigging refitted, And his timbers repaired;
And, with one broadside,
Make his adversary strike in his turn.





CHAPTER LXXX.




He returns to London, and meets with Cadwallader, who entertains
him with many curious Particulars--Crabtree sounds the Duchess,
and undeceives Pickle, who, by an extraordinary Accident, becomes
acquainted with another Lady of Quality.


The young gentleman having performed these last offices in honour
of his deceased benefactor, and presented Mr. Jolter to the
long-expected living, which at this time happened to be vacant,
returned to London, and resumed his former gaiety: not that he was
able to shake Emilia from his thought, or even to remember her
without violent emotions; for, as he recovered his vigour, his
former impatience recurred, and therefore he resolved to plunge
himself headlong into some intrigue, that might engage his passions
and amuse his imagination.

A man of his accomplishments could not fail to meet with a variety of
subjects on which his gallantry would have been properly exercised;
and this abundance distracted his choice, which at any time was
apt to be influenced by caprice and whim. I have already observed,
that he had lifted his view, through a matrimonial perspective, as
high as a lady of the first quality and distinction: and now, that
he was refused by Miss Gauntlet, and enjoyed a little respite from
the agonies of that flame which her charms had kindled in his heart,
he renewed his assiduities to her grace. Though he durst not yet
risk an explanation, he enjoyed the pleasure of seeing himself
so well received in quality of a particular acquaintance, that he
flattered himself with the belief of his having made some progress
in her heart; and was confirmed in this conceited notion by the
assurances of her woman, whom, by liberal largesses, he retained in
his interest, because she found means to persuade him that she was
in the confidence of her lady. But, notwithstanding this encouragement,
and the sanguine suggestions of his own vanity, he dreaded the
thoughts of exposing himself to her ridicule and resentment by a
premature declaration. and determined to postpone his addresses,
until he should be more certified of the probability of succeeding
in his attempt.

While he remained in this hesitation and suspense, he was one
morning very agreeably surprised with the appearance of his friend
Crabtree, who, by the permission of Pipes, to whom he was well
known, entered his chamber before he was awake, and, by a violent
shake of the shoulder, disengaged him from the arms of sleep. The
first compliments having mutually passed, Cadwallader gave him to
understand, that he had arrived in town overnight in the stage-coach
from Bath, and entertained him with such a ludicrous account of his
fellow-travellers, that Peregrine, for the first time since their
parting, indulged himself in mirth, even to the hazard of suffocation.

Crabtree, having rehearsed these adventures, in such a peculiarity
of manner as added infinite ridicule to every circumstance, and
repeated every scandalous report which had circulated at Bath,
after Peregrine's departure, was informed by the youth, that he
harboured a design upon the person of such a duchess, and in all
appearance had no reason to complain of his reception; but that
he would not venture to declare himself, until he should be more
ascertained of her sentiments; and therefore he begged leave to
depend upon the intelligence of his friend Cadwallader, who, he
knew, was admitted to her parties.

The misanthrope, before he would promise his assistance, asked
if his prospect verged towards matrimony; and our adventurer, who
guessed the meaning of his question, replying in the negative, he
undertook the office of reconnoitring her inclination, protesting
at the same time, that he would never concern himself in any scheme
that did not tend to the disgrace and deception of all the sex. On
these conditions he espoused the interest of our hero; and a plan
was immediately concerted, in consequence of which they met by
accident at her grace's table. Pickle having staid all the forepart
of the evening, and sat out all the company, except the misanthrope
and a certain widow lady who was said to be in the secrets of my
lady duchess, went away on pretence of an indispensable engagement,
that Crabtree might have a proper opportunity of making him the
subject of conversation.

Accordingly, he had scarce quitted the apartment, when this cynic,
attending him to the door with a look of morose disdain, "Were I
an absolute prince," said he, "and that fellow one of my subjects,
I would order him to be clothed in sackcloth, and he should drive
my asses to water, that his lofty spirit might be lowered to the
level of his deserts. The pride of a peacock is downright self-denial,
when compared with the vanity of that coxcomb, which was naturally
arrogant, but is now rendered altogether intolerable, by the
reputation he acquired at Bath, for kicking a bully, outwitting
a club of raw sharpers, and divers other pranks, in the execution
of which he was more lucky than wise. But nothing has contributed
so much to the increase of his insolence and self-conceit, as the
favour he found among the ladies; ay, the ladies, madam: I care
not who knows it: the ladies, who, to their honour be it spoken,
never fail to patronize foppery and folly, provided they solicit
their encouragement. And yet this dog was not on the footing of those
hermaphroditical animals, who may be reckoned among the number of
waiting-women, who air your shifts, comb your lap-dogs, examine your
noses with magnifying glasses, in order to squeeze out the worms,
clean your tooth-brushes, sweeten your handkerchiefs, and soften
waste paper for your occasions. This fellow Pickle was entertained
for more important purposes; his turn of duty never came till all
those lapwings were gone to roost; then he scaled windows, leaped
over garden walls, and was let in by Mrs. Betty in the dark. Nay,
the magistrates of Bath complimented him with the freedom of the
corporation, merely because, through his means, the waters had gained
extraordinary credit; for every female of a tolerable appearance,
that went thither on account of her sterility, got the better of
her complaint, during his residence at Bath. And now the fellow
thinks no woman can withstand his addresses. He had not been here
three minutes, when I could perceive, with half an eye, that he
had marked out your grace for a conquest,--I mean in an honourable
way; though the rascal has impudence enough to attempt anything."

So saying, he fixed his eyes upon the duchess, who, while her
face glowed with indignation, turning to her confidant, expressed
herself in these words: "Upon my life! I believe there is actually
some truth in what this old ruffian says; I have myself observed
that young fellow eyeing me with a very particular stare."--"It
is not to be at all wondered at," said her friend, "that a youth
of his complexion should be sensible to the charms of your grace!
but I dare say he would not presume to entertain any but the most
honourable and respectful sentiments."--"Respectful sentiments!"
cried my lady, with a look of ineffable disdain; "if I thought the
fellow had assurance enough to think of me in any shape, I protest
I would forbid him my house. Upon my honour, such instances of
audacity should induce persons of quality to keep your small gentry
at a greater distance; for they are very apt to grow impudent, upon
the least countenance or encouragement."

Cadwallader, satisfied with this declaration, changed the subject
of discourse, and next day communicated his discovery to his friend
Pickle, who upon this occasion felt the most stinging sensations
of mortified pride, and resolved to quit his prospect with a good
grace. Nor did the execution of this self-denying scheme cost him
one moment's uneasiness; for his heart had never been interested in
the pursuit, and his vanity triumphed in the thoughts of manifesting
his indifference. Accordingly, the very next time he visited her
grace, his behaviour was remarkably frank, sprightly and disengaged;
and the subject of love being artfully introduced by the widow,
who had been directed to sound his inclinations, he rallied the
passion with great ease and severity and made no scruple of declaring
himself heart-whole. Though the duchess had resented his supposed
affection, she was now offended at his insensibility, and even
signified her disgust, by observing, that perhaps his attention
to his own qualifications screened him from the impression of all
other objects.

While he enjoyed this sarcasm, the meaning of which he could
plainly discern, the company was joined by a certain virtuoso, who
had gained free access to all the great families of the land, by
his noble talent of gossiping and buffoonery. He was now in the
seventy-fifth year of his age; his birth was so obscure, that he
scarce knew his father's name; his education suitable to the dignity
of his descent; his character publicly branded with homicide,
profligacy, and breach of trust; yet this man, by the happy
inheritance of impregnable effrontery, and a lucky prostitution
of all principle in rendering himself subservient to the appetites
of the great, had attained to an independency of fortune, as well
as to such a particular share of favour among the quality, that,
although he was well known to have pimped for three generations of
the nobility, there was not a lady of fashion in the kingdom who
scrupled to admit him to her toilette, or even to be squired by him
in any place of public entertainment. Not but that this sage was
occasionally useful to his fellow-creatures, by these connections
with people of fortune; for he often undertook to solicit charity
in behalf of distressed objects, with a view of embezzling one-half
of the benefactions. It was an errand of this kind that now brought
him to the house of her grace.

After having sat a few minutes, he told the company that he would
favour them with a very proper opportunity to extend their benevolence,
for the relief of a poor gentlewoman, who was reduced to the most
abject misery, by the death of her husband, and just delivered of
a couple of fine boys: they, moreover, understood from his information,
that this object was daughter of a good family, who had renounced
her in consequence of her marrying an ensign without a fortune; and
even obstructed his promotion with all their influence and power;
a circumstance of barbarity which had made such an impression upon
his mind, as disordered his brain, and drove him to despair, in a
fit of which he had made away with himself, leaving his wife, then
big with child, to all the horrors of indigence and grief.

Various were the criticisms on this pathetic picture, which the
old man drew with great expression. My lady duchess concluded that
she must be a creature void of all feeling and reflection, who
could survive such aggravated misery, therefore did not deserve to
be relieved, except in the character of a common beggar; and was
generous enough to offer a recommendation, by which she would be
admitted into an infirmary, to which her grace was a subscriber;
at the same time advising the solicitor to send the twins to the
Foundling Hospital, where they could be carefully nursed and brought
up, so as to become useful members to the commonwealth. Another
lady, with all due deference to the opinion of the duchess, was free
enough to blame the generosity of her grace, which would only serve
to encourage children in disobedience to their parents, and might
be the means not only of prolonging the distress of the wretched
creature, but also of ruining the constitution of some young heir,
perhaps the hope of a great family; for she did suppose that madam,
when her month should be up, and her brats disposed of, would spread
her attractions to the public, provided she could profit by her
person, and, in the usual way, make a regular progress from St.
James's to Drury Lane. She apprehended, for these reasons, that
their compassion would be most effectually shown, in leaving her to
perish in her present necessity; and that the old gentleman would
be unpardonable, should he persist in his endeavours to relieve
her. A third member of this tender-hearted society, after having
asked if the young woman was handsome, and being answered in the
negative, allowed that there was a great deal of reason in what had
been said by the honourable person who had spoke last; nevertheless,
she humbly conceived her sentence would admit of some mitigation.
"Let the bantlings," said she, "be sent to the hospital, according
to the advice of her grace, and a small collection be made for the
present support of the mother; and, when her health is recovered,
I will take her into my family, in quality of an upper servant, or
medium between me and my woman; for, upon my life! I can't endure
to chide or give directions to a creature, who is, in point of
birth and education, but one degree above the vulgar."

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