My Life, Volume II

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

MY LIFE, VOLUME 2 (ENGLISH TRANSLATION PUBLISHED IN NEW YORK, 1911)

PART III
PART IV

MY LIFE, VOLUME 2 (OF 2)

PART III

1850-1861

MINNA had been lucky enough to find quarters near Zurich which
corresponded very closely with the wishes I had so emphatically
expressed before leaving. The house was situated in the parish of
Enge, a good fifteen minutes' walk from the town, on a site
overlooking the lake, and was an old-fashioned hostelry called
'Zum Abendstern,' belonging to a certain Frau Hirel, who was a
pleasant old lady. The second floor, which was quite self-
contained and very quiet, offered us humble but adequate
accommodations for a modest rent.

I arrived early in the morning and found Minna still in bed. She
was anxious to know whether I had returned simply out of pity;
but I quickly succeeded in obtaining her promise that she would
never again refer to what had taken place. She was soon quite
herself again when she began to show me the progress she had made
in arranging the rooms.

Our position had for some years been growing more comfortable, in
spite of the fact that at this time various difficulties again
arose, and our domestic happiness seemed tolerably secure. Yet I
could never quite master a restless inclination to deviate from
anything that was regarded as conventional.

Our two pets, Peps and Papo, largely helped to make our lodgings
homelike; both were very fond of me, and were sometimes even too
obtrusive in showing their affection. Peps would always lie
behind me in the armchair while I was working, and Papo, after
repeatedly calling out 'Richard' in vain, would often come
fluttering into my study if I stayed away from the sitting-room
too long. He would then settle down on my desk and vigorously
shuffle about the papers and pens. He was so well trained that he
never uttered the ordinary cry of a bird, but expressed his
sentiments only by talking or singing. As soon as he heard my
step on the staircase he would begin whistling a tune, as, for
instance, the great march in the finale of the Symphony in C
minor, the beginning of the Eighth Symphony in F major, or even a
bright bit out of the Rienzi Overture. Peps, our little dog, on
the other hand, was a highly sensitive and nervous creature. My
friends used to call him 'Peps the petulant,' and there were
times when we could not speak to him even in the friendliest way
without bringing on paroxysms of howls and sobs. These two pets
of course helped very much to increase the mutual understanding
between myself and my wife.

Unfortunately, there was one perpetual source of quarrel, arising
from my wife's behaviour towards poor Nathalie. Until her death
she shamefully withheld from the girl the fact that she was her
mother. Nathalie, therefore, always believed that she was Minna's
sister, and consequently could not understand why she should not
have the same rights as my wife, who always treated her in an
authoritative way, as a strict mother would do, and seemed to
think herself justified in complaining of Nathalie's behaviour.
Apparently the latter had been much neglected and spoiled just at
the critical age, and deprived of any proper training. She was
short in stature and inclined to become stout, her manners were
awkward and her opinions narrow. Minna's hasty temper and
continual jeering made the girl, who was naturally very good-
natured, stubborn and spiteful, so that the behaviour of the
'sisters' often caused the most hateful scenes in our quiet home.
I never lost my patience at these incidents, however, but
remained, completely indifferent to everything going on around
me.

The arrival of my young friend Karl was a pleasant diversion in
our small household. Ho occupied a tiny attic above our rooms and
shared our meals. Sometimes he would accompany me on my walks,
and for a time seemed quite satisfied.

But I soon noticed in him a growing restlessness. He had not been
slow to recognise, by the unpleasant scenes that again became
daily occurrences in our married life, at what point the shoe
pinched that I had good-naturedly put on again at his request.
However, when one day I reminded him that in coming hack to
Zurich I had other objects in view besides the longing for a
quiet domestic life, he remained silent. But I saw that there was
another peculiar reason for his uneasiness; he took to coming in
late for meals, and even then he had no appetite. At first I was
anxious at this, fearing he might have taken a dislike to our
simple fare, but I soon discovered that my young friend was so
passionately addicted to sweets that I feared he might eventually
ruin his health by trying to live on large quantities of
confectionery. My remarks seemed to annoy him, as his absences
from the house became more frequent, I thought that probably his
small room did not afford him the comfort he required, and I
therefore made no objection when he left us and took a room in
town.

As his state of uneasiness still seemed to increase and he did
not appear at all happy in Zurich, I was glad to be able to
suggest a little change for him, and persuade him to go for a
holiday to Weimar, where the first performance of Lohengrin was
to take place about the end of August.

About the same time I induced Minna to go with me for our first
ascent of the Righi, a feat we both accomplished very
energetically on foot. I was very much grieved on this occasion
to discover that my wife had symptoms of heart disease, which
continued to develop subsequently. We spent the evening of the
28th of August, while the first performance of Lohengrin was
taking place at Weimar, in Lucerne, at the Schwan inn, watching
the clock as the hands went round, and marking the various times
at which the performance presumably began, developed, and came to
a close.

I always felt somewhat distressed, uncomfortable, and ill at ease
whenever I tried to pass a few pleasant hours in the society of
my wife.

The reports received of that first performance gave me no clear
or reassuring impression of it. Karl Ritter soon came back to
Zurich, and told me of deficiencies in staging and of the
unfortunate choice of a singer for the leading part, but remarked
that on the whole it had gone fairly well. The reports sent me by
Liszt were the most encouraging. He did not seem to think it
worth while to allude to the inadequacy of the means at his
command for such a bold undertaking, but preferred to dwell on
the sympathetic spirit that prevailed in the company and the
effect it produced on the influential personages he had invited
to be present.

Although everything in connection with this important enterprise
eventually assumed a bright aspect, the direct result on my
position at the time was very slight. I was more interested in
the future of the young friend who had been entrusted to my care
than in anything else. At the time of his visit to Weimar he had
been to stay with his family in Dresden, and after his return
expressed an anxious wish to become a musician, and possibly to
secure a position as a musical director at a theatre. I had never
had an opportunity of judging of his gifts in this line. He had
always refused to play the piano in my presence, but I had seen
his setting of an alliterative poem of his own, Die Walkure,
which, though rather awkwardly put together, struck me by its
precise and skilful compliance with the rules of composition.

He proved himself to be the worthy pupil of his master, Robert
Schumann, who, long before, had told me that Karl possessed great
musical gifts, and that he could not remember ever having had any
other pupil endowed with such a keen ear and such a ready
facility for assimilation. Consequently I had no reason to
discourage the young man's confidence in his capacity for the
career of a musical director. As the winter season was
approaching, I asked the manager of the theatre for the address
of Herr Kramer, who was coming for the season, and learned that
he was still engaged at Winterthur.

Sulzer, who was always ready when help or advice was needed,
arranged for a meeting with Herr Kramer at a dinner at the
'Wilden Mann' in Winterthur. At this meeting it was decided, on
my recommendation, that Karl Ritter should be appointed musical
director at the theatre for the ensuing winter, starting from
October, and the remuneration he was to receive was really a very
fair one. As my protege was admittedly a beginner, I had to
guarantee his capacity by undertaking to perform his duties in
the event of any trouble arising at the theatre on the ground of
his inefficiency. Karl seemed delighted. As October drew near and
the opening of the theatre was announced to take place 'under
exceptional artistic auspices.' I thought it advisable to see
what Karl's views were.

By way of a debut I had selected Der Freischutz, so that he might
open his career with a well-known opera. Karl did not entertain
the slightest doubt of being able to master such a simple score,
but when he had to overcome his reserve in playing the piano
before me, as I wanted to go through the whole opera with him, I
was amazed at seeing that he had no idea of accompaniment. He
played the arrangement for the pianoforte with the characteristic
carelessness of an amateur who attaches no importance to
lengthening a bar by incorrect fingering. He knew nothing
whatever about rhythmic precision or tempo, the very essentials
of a conductor's career. I felt completely nonplussed and was
absolutely at a loss what to say. However, I still hoped the
young man's talent might suddenly break out, and I looked forward
to an orchestral rehearsal, for which I provided him with a pair
of large spectacles. I had never noticed before that he was so
shortsighted, but when reading he had to keep his face so close
to the music that it would have been impossible for him to
control both orchestra and singers. When I saw him, hitherto so
confident, standing at the conductor's desk staring hard at the
score, in spite of his spectacles, and making meaningless signs
in the air like one in a trance, I at once realised that the time
for carrying out my guarantee had arrived.

It was, nevertheless, a somewhat difficult and trying task to
make young Ritter understand that I should be compelled to take
his place; but there was no help for it, and it was I who had to
inaugurate Kramer's winter season under such 'exceptional
artistic auspices.' The success of Der Freischulz placed me in a
peculiar position as regards both the company and the public, but
it was quite out of the question to suppose that Karl could
continue to act as musical director at the theatre by himself.

Strange to say, this trying experience coincided with an
important change in the life of another young friend of mine,
Hans von Bulow, whom I had known in Dresden. I had met his father
at Zurich in the previous year just after his second marriage. He
afterwards settled down at Lake Constance, and it was from this
place that Hans wrote to me expressing his regret that he was
unable to pay his long-desired visit to Zurich, as he had
previously promised to do.

As far as I could make out, his mother, who had been divorced
from his father, did all in her power to restrain him from
embracing the career of an artist, and tried to persuade him to
enter the civil or the diplomatic service, as he had studied law.
But his inclinations and talents impelled him to a musical
career. It seemed that his mother, when giving him permission to
go to visit his father, had particularly urged him to avoid any
meeting with me. When I afterwards heard that he had been advised
by his father also not to come to Zurich, I felt sure that the
latter, although he had been on friendly terms with me, was
anxious to act in accordance with his first wife's wishes in this
serious matter of his son's future, so as to avoid any further
disputes after the friction of the divorce had barely been
allayed. Later on I learned that these statements, which roused a
strong feeling of resentment in me against Eduard von Bulow, were
unfounded; but the despairing tone of Hans's letter, clearly
showing that any other career would be repugnant to him and would
be a constant source of misery, seemed to be ample reason for my
interference. This was one of the occasions when my easily
excited indignation roused me to activity. I replied very fully,
and eloquently pointed out to him the vital importance of this
moment in his life. The desperate tone of his letter justified me
in telling him very plainly that this was not a case in which he
could deal hastily with his views as to the future, but that it
was a matter profoundly affecting his whole heart and soul. I
told him what I myself would do in his case, that is to say, if
he really felt an overwhelming and irresistible impulse to become
an artist, and would prefer to endure the greatest hardships and
trials rather than be forced into a course he felt was a wrong
one, he ought, in defiance of everything, to make up his mind to
accept the helping hand I was holding out to him at once. If, in
spite of his father's prohibition, he still wished to come to me,
he ought not to hesitate, but should carry out his wishes
immediately on the receipt of my letter.

Karl Ritter was pleased when I entrusted him with the duty of
delivering the letter personally at Bulow's country villa. When
he arrived he asked to see his friend at the door, and went for a
stroll with him, during which he gave him my letter. Thereupon
Hans, who like Karl had no money, at once decided, in spite of
storm and rain, to accompany Karl back to Zurich on foot. So one
day they turned up absolutely tired out, and came into my room
looking like a couple of tramps, with visible signs about them of
their mad expedition. Karl beamed with joy over this feat, while
young Bulow was quite overcome with emotion.

I at once realised that I had taken a very serious responsibility
on my shoulders, yet I sympathised deeply with the overwrought
youth, and my conduct towards him was guided by all that had
occurred for a long time afterwards.

At first we had to console him, and stimulate his confidence by
our cheerfulness. His appointment was soon arranged. He was to
share Karl's contract at the theatre, and enjoy the same rights;
both were to receive a small salary, and I was to continue to act
as surety for their capabilities.

At this time they happened to be rehearsing a musical comedy, and
Hans, without any knowledge of the subject, took up his position
at the conductor's desk and handled the baton with great vigour
and remarkable skill. I felt safe as far as he was concerned, and
all doubt as to his ability as musical director vanished on the
spot. But it was a somewhat difficult task to overcome Karl's
misgivings about himself, owing to the idea ingrained in his mind
that he never could become a practical musician. A growing
shyness and secret antipathy towards me soon manifested itself
and became more noticeable in this young man, in spite of the
fact that he was certainly gifted. It was impossible to keep him
any longer in his position or to ask him to conduct again.

Bulow also soon encountered unexpected difficulties. The manager
and his staff, who had been spoiled by my having conducted on the
occasion already mentioned, were always on the look-out for some
fresh excuse for requisitioning my services.

I did, in fact, conduct again a few times, partly to give the
public a favourable impression of the operatic company, which was
really quite a good one, and partly to show my young friends,
especially Bulow, who was so eminently adapted for a conductor,
the most essential points which the leader of an orchestra ought
to know.

Hans was always equal to the occasion, and I could with a clear
conscience say there was no need for me to take his place
whenever he was called upon to conduct. However, one of the
artistes, a very conceited singer, who had been somewhat spoiled
by my praise, annoyed him so much by her ways that she succeeded
in forcing me to take up the baton again. When a couple of months
later we realised the impossibility of carrying on this state of
things indefinitely, and were tired of the whole affair, the
management consented to free us from our irksome duties. About
this time Hans was offered the post of musical director at St.
Gall without any special conditions being attached to his
engagement, so I sent the two boys off to try their luck in the
neighbouring town, and thus gained time for further developments.

Herr Eduard von Bulow had, after all, come to the conclusion that
it would be wiser to abide by his son's decision, though he did
not do so without evincing a good deal of ill-humour towards me.
He had not replied to a letter I had written him to explain my
conduct in the matter, but I afterwards learned that he had
visited his son in Zurich by way of patching up a reconciliation.

I went several times to St. Gall to see the young men, as they
remained there during the winter months. I found Karl lost in
gloomy thought: he had again met with an unfavourable reception
when conducting Gluck's Overture to Iphigenia, and was keeping
aloof from everybody. Hans was busily rehearsing with a very poor
company and a horrible orchestra, in a hideous theatre. Seeing
all this misery, I told Hans that for the time being he had
picked up enough to pass for a practical musician or even for an
experienced conductor.

The question now was to find him a sphere which would give him a
suitable scope for his talents. He told me that his father was
going to send him to Freiherr von Poissl, the manager of the
Munich Court Theatre, with a letter of introduction. But his
mother soon intervened, and wanted him to go to Weimar to
continue his musical training under Liszt. This was all I could
desire; I felt greatly relieved and heartily recommended the
young man, of whom I was very fond, to my distinguished friend.

He left St. Gall at Easter, 1851, and during the long period of
his stay in Weimar I was released from the responsibility of
looking after him.

Meanwhile Ritter remained in melancholy retirement, and not being
able to make up his mind whether or not he should return to
Zurich, where he would be disagreeably reminded of his unlucky
debut, he preferred for the present to stay in seclusion at St.
Gall.

The sojourn of my young friends at St. Gall had been pleasantly
varied during the previous winter by a visit to Zurich, when Hans
made his appearance as pianist at one of the concerts of the
musical society there. I also took an active part in it by
conducting one of Beethoven's symphonies, and it was a great
pleasure to us both to give each other mutual encouragement.

I had been asked to appear again at this society's concerts
during the winter. However, I only did so occasionally, to
conduct a Beethoven symphony, making it a condition that the
orchestra, and more especially the string instruments, should be
reinforced by capable musicians from other towns.

As I always required three rehearsals for each symphony, and many
of the musicians had to come from a great distance, our work
acquired quite an imposing and solemn character. I was able to
devote the time usually taken up by a rehearsal to the study of
one symphony, and accordingly had leisure to work out the
minutest details of the execution, particularly as the technical
difficulties were not of an insuperable character. My facility in
interpreting music at that time attained a degree of perfection I
had not hitherto reached, and I recognised this by the unexpected
effect my conducting produced.

The orchestra contained some really talented and clever
musicians, among whom I may mention Fries, an oboist, who,
starting from a subordinate place, had been appointed a leading
player. He had to practice with me, just as a singer would do,
the more important parts allotted to his instrument in
Beethoven's symphonies. When we first produced the Symphony in C
minor, this extraordinary man played the small passage marked
adagio at the fermata of the first movement in a manner I have
never heard equalled. After my retirement from the directorship
of these concerts he left the orchestra and went into business as
a music-seller.

The orchestra could further boast of a Herr Ott-Imhoff, a highly
cultured and well-to-do man who belonged to a noble family, and
had joined the orchestra as a patron and as an amateur musician.
He played the clarionet with a soft and charming tone which was
somewhat lacking in spirit. I must also mention the worthy Herr
Bar, a cornet-player, whom I appointed leader of the brass
instruments, as be exercised a great influence on that part of
the orchestra. I cannot remember ever having heard the long,
powerful chords of the last movement of the C minor Symphony
executed with such intense power as by this player in Zurich, and
can only compare the recollection of it with the impressions I
had when, in my early Parisian days, the Conservatoire orchestra
performed Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.

Our production of the Symphony in C minor made a great impression
on the audience, especially on my intimate friend Sulzer, who had
previously kept aloof from any kind of music. He became so
incensed when an attack was made on me by a newspaper that he
answered the gratuitous critic in a satirical poem composed with
the skill of a Platen.

As I have already said, Bulow was invited in the course of the
winter to give a pianoforte recital at a concert at which I
promised to produce the Sinfonia Eroica.

With his usual audacity he chose Liszt's piano arrangement of the
Tannhauser Overture, a work as brilliant as it is difficult, and
therefore a somewhat hazardous undertaking. However, he caused
quite a sensation, and I myself was astounded at his execution.
Up to this time I had not paid it the attention it deserved, and
it inspired me with the greatest confidence in his future. I
frequently had occasion to admire his masterly skill both as
conductor and accompanist.

During that winter, apart from the occasions in my young friend's
life already briefly alluded to, there were frequent
opportunities of displaying his capabilities. My acquaintances
used to foregather in my house, and formed quite a little club
for the purposes of mutual enjoyment, which, however, would
hardly have been successful without Bulow's assistance.

I sang suitable passages from my opera, which Hans accompanied
with an expressiveness which delighted me very much. On an
occasion like this I also read aloud extracts from my
manuscripts. For instance, during a series of successive evenings
I read the whole of my longer work, Oper und Drama, written in
the course of this winter, and was favoured by a steadily growing
and remarkably attentive audience.

Now that after my return I had secured a certain degree of peace
and tranquillity of mind, I began to think of resuming my more
serious studies. But somehow the composition of Siegfried's Death
did not seem to appeal to me. The idea of sitting down
deliberately to write a score which should never go further than
the paper on which it was written, again discouraged me; whereas
I felt more and more strongly impelled to lay a foundation on
which it might some day be possible to present such a work, even
though the end had to be gained by roundabout means. To secure
this object it seemed above all necessary to approach those
friends, both at home and abroad, who interested themselves in my
art, in order to expound to them more clearly the problems that
demanded solution, which, although definite enough to my own
mind, had scarcely as yet even entered into their heads. A
singularly favourable opportunity for so doing offered itself one
day when Sulzer showed me an article on 'Opera' in Brockhaus's
Modern Encyclopedia. The good man was fully convinced that in the
opinions expressed in this article I should find a preliminary
basis for my own theories. But a hasty glance sufficed to show me
at once how entirely erroneous they were, and I tried hard to
point out to Sulzer the fundamental difference between the
accepted views, even of very sensible people, and my own
conceptions of the heart of the matter. Finding it naturally
impossible, even with all the eloquence at my command, to
elucidate my ideas all at once, I set about preparing a
methodical plan for detailed treatment of the subject as soon as
I got home. In this way I was lead to write this book which was
published under the title of Oper und Drama, a task which kept me
fully occupied for several months, in fact until February, 1851.

But I had to pay heavily for the exhausting toil expended on the
conclusion of this work. According to my calculations, only a few
days of persevering industry were needed for the completion of my
manuscript, when my parrot, which usually watched me on my
writing-table, was taken seriously ill. As it had already
completely recovered from several similar attacks, I did not feel
very anxious. Although my wife begged me to fetch a veterinary
surgeon who lived in a village which was rather far off, I
preferred to stick to my desk, and I put off going from one day
to the next. At last one evening the all-important manuscript was
finished, and the next morning our poor Papo lay dead on the
floor. My inconsolable grief over this melancholy loss was fully
shared by Minna, and by our mutual affection for this treasured
pet we were once more tenderly united in a way likely to conduce
to our domestic happiness.

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