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The Journal to Stella

J >> Jonathan Swift >> The Journal to Stella




5. Lady Masham has miscarried; but is well almost again. I have many visits
to-day. I met Blith at the Duke of Ormond's; and he begged me to carry him to
the Duchess of Hamilton, to beg her pardon again. I did on purpose to see how
the blunderbuss behaved himself; but I begged the Duchess to use him
mercifully, for she is the devil of a teaser. The good of it is, she ought to
beg his pardon, for he meant no harm; yet she would not allow him to put in an
advertisement to clear himself from hers, though hers was all a lie. He
appealed to me, and I gravely gave it against him. I was at Court to-day, and
the foreign Ministers have got a trick of employing me to speak for them to
Lord Treasurer and Lord Bolingbroke; which I do when the case is reasonable.
The College[11] need not fear; I will not be their Governor. I dined with Sir
Thomas Hanmer and his Duchess.[12] The Duke of Ormond was there, but we
parted soon, and I went to visit Lord Pembroke for the first time; but it was
to see some curious books. Lord Cholmondeley[13] came in; but I would not
talk to him, though he made many advances. I hate the scoundrel for all he is
your Griffith's friend.--Yes, yes, I am abused enough, if that be all. Nite
sollahs.

6. I was to-day at an auction of pictures with Pratt,[14] and laid out two
pound five shillings for a picture of Titian, and if it were a Titian it would
be worth twice as many pounds. If I am cheated, I'll part with it to Lord
Masham: if it be a bargain, I'll keep it to myself. That's my conscience.
But I made Pratt buy several pictures for Lord Masham. Pratt is a great
virtuoso that way. I dined with Lord Treasurer, but made him go to Court at
eight. I always tease him to be gone. I thought to have made Parnell dine
with him, but he was ill; his head is out of order like mine, but more
constant, poor boy!--I was at Lord Treasurer's levee with the Provost, to ask
a book for the College.--I never go to his levee, unless to present somebody.
For all oor rallying, saucy[15] Ppt, as hope saved, I expected they would have
decided about me long ago; and as hope saved, as soon as ever things are given
away and I not provided for, I will be gone with the very first opportunity,
and put up bag and baggage. But people are slower than can be thought. Nite
MD.

7. Yes, I hope Leigh will soon be gone, a p-- on him! I met him once, and he
talked gravely to me of not seeing the Irish bishops here, and the Irish
gentlemen; but I believe my answers fretted him enough. I would not dine with
Lord Treasurer to-day, though it was Saturday (for he has engaged me for to-
morrow), but went and dined with Lord Masham, and played at ombre, sixpenny
running ombre, for three hours. There were three voles[16] against me, and I
was once a great loser, but came off for three shillings and sixpence. One
may easily lose five guineas at it. Lady Orkney is gone out of town to-day,
and I could not see her for laziness, but writ to her. She has left me some
physic. Fais, I never knew MD's politics before, and I think it pretty
extraordinary, and a great compliment to you, and I believe never three people
conversed so much with so little politics. I avoid all conversation with the
other party; it is not to be borne, and I am sorry for it. O yes, things
[are] very dear. DD must come in at last with DD's two eggs a penny. There
the proverb was well applied. Parvisol has sent me a bill of fifty pounds, as
I ordered him, which, I hope, will serve me, and bring me over. Pray God MD
does not be delayed for it; but I have had very little from him this long
time. I was not at Court to-day; a wonder! Nite sollahs. . . Pdfr.

8. Oo must know, I give chocolate almost every day to two or three people
that I suffer to come to see me in a morning. My man begins to lie pretty
well. 'Tis nothing for people to be denied ten times. My man knows all I
will see, and denies me to everybody else. This is the day of the Queen's
coming to the Crown, and the day Lord Treasurer was stabbed by Guiscard. I
was at Court, where everybody had their Birthday clothes on, and I dined with
Lord Treasurer, who was very fine. He showed me some of the Queen's speech,
which I corrected in several places, and penned the vote of address of thanks
for the speech; but I was of opinion the House should not sit on Tuesday next,
unless they hear the peace is signed; that is, provided they are sure it will
be signed the week after, and so have one scolding for all. Nite MD.

9. Lord Treasurer would have had me dine with him to-day; he desired me last
night, but I refused, because he would not keep the day of his stabbing with
all the Cabinet, as he intended: so I dined with my friend Lewis; and the
Provost and Parnell, and Ford, was with us. I lost sixteen shillings at
ombre; I don't like it, as etc. At night Lewis brought us word that the
Parliament does not sit to-morrow. I hope they are sure of the peace by next
week, and then they are right in my opinion: otherwise I think they have done
wrong, and might have sat three weeks ago. People will grumble; but Lord
Treasurer cares not a rush. Lord Keeper is suddenly taken ill of a quinsy,
and some lords are commissioned, I think Lord Trevor,[17] to prorogue the
Parliament in his stead. You never saw a town so full of ferment and
expectation. Mr. Pope has published a fine poem, called Windsor Forest.[18]
Read it. Nite.

10. I was early this morning to see Lord Bolingbroke. I find he was of
opinion the Parliament should sit; and says they are not sure the peace will
be signed next week. The prorogation is to this day se'nnight. I went to
look on a library I am going to buy, if we can agree. I have offered a
hundred and twenty pounds, and will give ten more. Lord Bolingbroke will lend
me the money. I was two hours poring on the books. I will sell some of them,
and keep the rest; but I doubt they won't take the money. I dined in the
City, and sat an hour in the evening with Lord Treasurer, who was in very good
humour; but reproached me for not dining with him yesterday and to-day. What
will all this come to? Lord Keeper had a pretty good night, and is better. I
was in pain for him. How do oo do sollahs?. . . Nite MD.[19]

11. I was this morning to visit the Duke and Duchess of Ormond, and the
Duchess of Hamilton, and went with the Provost to an auction of pictures, and
laid out fourteen shillings. I am in for it, if I had money; but I doubt I
shall be undone; for Sir Andrew Fountaine invited the Provost and me to dine
with him, and play at ombre, when I fairly lost fourteen shillings. Fais, it
won't do; and I shall be out of conceit with play this good while. I am come
home; and it is late, and my puppy let out my fire, and I am gone to bed and
writing there, and it is past twelve a good while. Went out four matadores
and a trump in black, and was bested. Vely bad, fais! Nite my deelest logues
MD.

12. I was at another auction of pictures to-day, and a great auction it was.
I made Lord Masham lay out forty pounds. There were pictures sold of twice as
much value apiece. Our Society met to-day at the Duke of Beaufort's: a
prodigious fine dinner, which I hate; but we did some business. Our printer
was to attend us, as usual; and the Chancellor of the Exchequer sent the
author of the Examiner[20] twenty guineas. He is an ingenious fellow, but the
most confounded vain coxcomb in the world, so that I dare not let him see me,
nor am acquainted with him. I had much discourse with the Duke of Ormond this
morning, and am driving some points to secure us all in case of accidents,
etc.[21] I left the Society at seven. I can't drink now at all with any
pleasure. I love white Portugal wine better than claret, champagne, or
burgundy. I have a sad vulgar appetite. I remember Ppt used to maunder, when
I came from a great dinner, and DD had but a bit of mutton. I cannot endure
above one dish; nor ever could since I was a boy, and loved stuffing. It was
a fine day, which is a rarity with us, I assure [you]. Never fair two days
together. Nite dee MD.

13. I had a rabble of Irish parsons this morning drinking my chocolate. I
cannot remember appointments. I was to have supped last night with the
Swedish Envoy at his house, and some other company, but forgot it; and he
rallied me to-day at Lord Bolingbroke's, who excused me, saying, the Envoy
ought not to be angry, because I serve Lord Treasurer and him the same way.
For that reason, I very seldom promise to go anywhere. I dined with Lord
Treasurer, who chid me for being absent so long, as he always does if I miss a
day. I sat three hours this evening with Lady Jersey; but the first two hours
she was at ombre with some company. I left Lord Treasurer at eight: I
fancied he was a little thoughtful, for he was playing with an orange by fits,
which, I told him, among common men looked like the spleen. This letter shall
not go to-morrow; no haste, ung oomens; nothing that presses. I promised but
once in three weeks, and I am better than my word. I wish the peace may be
ready, I mean that we have notice it is signed, before Tuesday; otherwise the
grumbling will much increase. Nite logues.

14. It was a lovely day this, and I took the advantage of walking a good deal
in the Park, before I went to Court. Colonel Disney, one of our Society, is
ill of a fever, and, we fear, in great danger. We all love him mightily, and
he would be a great loss. I doubt I shall not buy the library; for a roguey
bookseller has offered sixty pounds more than I designed to give; so you see I
meant to have a good bargain. I dined with Lord Treasurer and his Saturday
company; but there were but seven at table. Lord Peterborrow is ill, and
spits blood, with a bruise he got before he left England; but, I believe, an
Italian lady he has brought over is the cause that his illness returns. You
know old Lady Bellasis[22] is dead at last? She has left Lord Berkeley of
Stratton[23] one of her executors, and it will be of great advantage to him;
they say above ten thousand pounds. I stayed with Lord Treasurer upon
business, after the company was gone; but I dare not tell you upon what. My
letters would be good memoirs, if I durst venture to say a thousand things
that pass; but I hear so much of letters opening at your post-office that I am
fearful, etc., and so good-nite, sollahs, rove Pdfr, MD.

15. Lord Treasurer engaged me to dine with him again to-day, and I had ready
what he wanted; but he would not see it, but put me off till to-morrow. The
Queen goes to chapel now. She is carried in an open chair, and will be well
enough to go to Parliament on Tuesday, if the Houses meet, which is not yet
certain; neither, indeed, can the Ministers themselves tell; for it depends on
winds and weather, and circumstances of negotiation. However, we go on as if
it was certainly to meet; and I am to be at Lord Treasurer's to-morrow, upon
that supposition, to settle some things relating that way. Ppt[24] may
understand me. The doctors tell me that if poor Colonel Disney does not get
some sleep to-night, he must die. What care you? Ah! but I do care. He is
one of our Society; a fellow of abundance of humour; an old battered rake, but
very honest, not an old man, but an old rake. It was he that said of Jenny
Kingdom,[25] the maid of honour, who is a little old, that, since she could
not get a husband, the Queen should give her a brevet to act as a married
woman. You don't understand this. They give brevets to majors and captains
to act as colonels in the army. Brevets are commissions. Ask soldiers, dull
sollahs. Nite MD.

16. I was at Lord Treasurer's before he came; and, as he entered, he told me
the Parliament was prorogued till Thursday se'nnight. They have had some
expresses, by which they count that the peace may be signed by that time; at
least, that France, Holland, and we, will sign some articles, by which we
shall engage to sign the peace when it is ready: but Spain has no Minister
there; for Monteleon, who is to be their Ambassador at Utrecht, is not yet
gone from hence; and till he is there, the Spaniards can sign no peace: and
[of] one thing take notice, that a general peace can hardly be finished these
two months, so as to be proclaimed here; for, after signing, it must be
ratified; that is, confirmed by the several princes at their Courts, which to
Spain will cost a month; for we must have notice that it is ratified in all
Courts before we can proclaim it. So be not in too much haste. Nite MD.

17. The Irish folks were disappointed that the Parliament did not meet to-
day, because it was St. Patrick's Day; and the Mall was so full of crosses
that I thought all the world was Irish. Miss Ashe is almost quite well, and I
see the Bishop, but shall not yet go to his house. I dined again with Lord
Treasurer; but the Parliament being prorogued, I must keep what I have till
next week: for I believe he will not see it till just the evening before the
session. He has engaged me to dine with him again to-morrow, though I did all
I could to put it off; but I don't care to disoblige him. Nite dee sollahs
'tis late. Nite MD.

18. I have now dined six days successively with Lord Treasurer; but to-night
I stole away while he was talking with somebody else, and so am at liberty to-
morrow. There was a flying report of a general cessation of arms: everybody
had it at Court; but, I believe, there is nothing in it. I asked a certain
French Minister how things went. And he whispered me in French, "Your
Plenipotentiaries and ours play the fool." None of us, indeed, approve of the
conduct of either at this time; but Lord Treasurer was in full good-humour for
all that. He had invited a good many of his relations; and, of a dozen at
table, they were all of the Harley family but myself. Disney is recovering,
though you don't care a straw. Dilly murders us with his IF puns. You know
them. . . . [26] Nite MD.

19. The Bishop of Clogher has made an IF pun that he is mighty proud of, and
designs to send it over to his brother Tom. But Sir Andrew Fountaine has
wrote to Tom Ashe last post, and told him the pun, and desired him to send it
over to the Bishop as his own; and, if it succeeds, 'twill be a pure bite.
The Bishop will tell it us as a wonder that he and his brother should jump so
exactly. I'll tell you the pun:--If there was a hackney coach at Mr.
Pooley's[27] door, what town in Egypt would it be? Why, it would be
Hecatompolis; Hack at Tom Pooley's. "Sillly," says Ppt. I dined with a
private friend to-day; for our Society, I told you, meet but once a fortnight.
I have not seen Fanny Manley yet; I can't help it. Lady Orkney is come to
town: why, she was at her country house; hat[28] care you? Nite darling (?)
dee MD.

20. Dilly read me a letter to-day from Ppt. She seems to have scratched her
head when she writ it. 'Tis a sad thing to write to people without tact.
There you say, you hear I was going to Bath. No such thing; I am pretty well,
I thank God. The town is now sending me to Savoy.[29] Forty people have
given me joy of it, yet there is not the least truth that I know in it. I was
at an auction of pictures, but bought none. I was so glad of my liberty, that
I would dine nowhere; but, the weather being fine, I sauntered into the City,
and ate a bit about five, and then supped at Mr. Burke's[30] your Accountant-
General, who had been engaging me this month. The Bishop of Clogher was to
have been there, but was hindered by Lord Paget's[31] funeral. The Provost
and I sat till one o'clock; and, if that be not late, I don't know what is
late. Parnell's poem will be published on Monday, and to-morrow I design he
shall present it to Lord Treasurer and Lord Bolingbroke at Court. The poor
lad is almost always out of order with his head. Burke's wife is his sister.
She has a little of the pert Irish way. Nite MD.

21. Morning. I will now finish my letter; for company will come, and a stir,
and a clutter; and I'll keep the letter in my pottick,[32] and give it into
the post myself. I must go to Court, and you know on Saturdays I dine with
Lord Treasurer, of course. Farewell, deelest MD MD MD, FW FW FW, MD ME ME ME
Lele sollahs.[33]



LETTER 62.[1]

LONDON, March 21, 1712-13.

I gave your letter in this night. I dined with Lord Treasurer to-day, and
find he has been at a meeting at Lord Halifax's house, with four principal
Whigs; but he is resolved to begin a speech against them when the Parliament
sits; and I have begged that the Ministers may have a meeting on purpose to
settle that matter, and let us be the attackers; and I believe it will come to
something, for the Whigs intend to attack the Ministers: and if, instead of
that, the Ministers attack the Whigs, it will be better: and farther, I
believe we shall attack them on those very points they intend to attack us.
The Parliament will be again prorogued for a fortnight, because of Passion
Week. I forgot to tell you that Mr. Griffin has given Ppt's brother[2] a new
employment, about ten pounds a year better than his former; but more remote,
and consequently cheaper. I wish I could have done better, and hope oo will
take what can be done in good part, and that oo brother will not dislike it.--
Nite own dear. . . MD.

22. I dined to-day with Lord Steward.[3] There Frank Annesley[4] (a
Parliament-man) told me he had heard that I had wrote to my friends in Ireland
to keep firm to the Whig interest; for that Lord Treasurer would certainly
declare for it after the peace. Annesley said twenty people had told him
this. You must know this is what they endeavour to report of Lord Treasurer,
that he designs to declare for the Whigs; and a Scotch fellow has wrote the
same to Scotland; and his meeting with those lords gives occasion to such
reports. Let me henceforth call Lord Treasurer Eltee, because possibly my
letters may be opened. Pray remember Eltee. You know the reason; L.T. and
Eltee pronounced the same way. Stay, 'tis five weeks since I had a letter
from MD. I allow you six. You see why I cannot come over the beginning of
April; whoever has to do with this Ministry can fix no time: but as[5] hope
saved, it is not Pdfr's fault. Pay don't blame poo Pdfr. Nite deelest logues
MD.[6]

23. I dined to-day at Sir Thomas Hanmer's, by an old appointment: there was
the Duke of Ormond, and Lord and Lady Orkney. I left them at six. Everybody
is as sour as vinegar. I endeavour to keep a firm friendship between the Duke
of Ormond and Eltee. (Oo know who Eltee is, or have oo fordot already?) I
have great designs, if I can compass them; but delay is rooted in Eltee's
heart; yet the fault is not altogether there, that things are no better. Here
is the cursedest libel in verse come out that ever was seen, called The
Ambassadress;[7] it is very dull, too; it has been printed three or four
different ways, and is handed about, but not sold. It abuses the Queen
horribly. The Examiner has cleared me to-day of being author of his paper,
and done it with great civilities to me.[8] I hope it will stop people's
mouths; if not, they must go on and be hanged, I care not. 'Tis terribly
rainy weather, I'll go sleep. Nite deelest MD.

24. It rained all this day, and ruined me in coach-hire. I went to Colonel
Disney, who is past danger. Then I visited Lord Keeper, who was at dinner;
but I would not dine with him, but drove to Lord Treasurer (Eltee I mean),
paid the coachman, and went in; but he dined abroad: so I was forced to call
the coachman again, and went to Lord Bolingbroke's. He dined abroad too; and
at Lord Dupplin's I alighted, and by good luck got a dinner there, and then
went to the Latin play at Westminster School, acted by the boys; and Lord
Treasurer (Eltee I mean again) honoured them with his presence. Lady Masham's
eldest son, about two years old, is ill, and I am afraid will not live: she
is full of grief, and I pity and am angry with her. Four shillings to-day in
coach-hire; fais, it won't do. Our peace will certainly be ready by Thursday
fortnight; but our Plenipotentiaries were to blame that it was not done
already. They thought their powers were not full enough to sign the peace,
unless every Prince was ready, which cannot yet be; for Spain has no Minister
yet at Utrecht; but now ours have new orders. Nite MD.

25. Weather worse than ever; terrible rain all day, but I was resolved I
would spend no more money. I went to an auction of pictures with Dr. Pratt,
and there met the Duke of Beaufort, who promised to come with me to Court, but
did not. So a coach I got, and went to Court, and did some little business
there, but was forced to go home; for oo must understand I take a little
physic over-night, which works me next day. Lady Orkney is my physician. It
is hiera picra,[9] two spoonfuls, devilish stuff! I thought to have dined
with Eltee, but would not, merely to save a shilling; but I dined privately
with a friend, and played at ombre, and won six shillings. Here are several
people of quality lately dead of the smallpox. I have not yet seen Miss Ashe,
but hear she is well. The Bishop of Clogher has bought abundance of pictures,
and Dr. Pratt has got him very good pennyworths.[10] I can get no walks, the
weather is so bad. Is it so with oo, sollahs?. . . [11]

26. Though it was shaving-day, head and beard, yet I was out early to see
Lord Bolingbroke, and talk over affairs with him; and then I went to the Duke
of Ormond's, and so to Court, where the Ministers did not come, because the
Parliament was prorogued till this day fortnight. We had terrible rain and
hail to-day. Our Society met this day, but I left them before seven, and went
to Sir A[ndrew] F[ountaine], and played at ombre with him and Sir Thomas
Clarges, till ten, and then went to Sir Thomas Hanmer. His wife, the Duchess
of Grafton, left us after a little while, and I stayed with him about an hour,
upon some affairs, etc. Lord Bolingbroke left us at the Society before I
went; for there is an express from Utrecht, but I know not yet what it
contains; only I know the Ministers expect the peace will be signed in a week,
which is a week before the session. Nite, MD.

27. Parnell's poem is mightily esteemed; but poetry sells ill. I am plagued
with that. . . [12] poor Harrison's mother; you would laugh to see how
cautious I am of paying her the 100 pounds I received for her son from the
Treasury. I have asked every creature I know whether I may do it safely, yet
durst not venture, till my Lord Keeper assured me there was no danger. I have
not paid her, but will in a day or two: though I have a great mind to stay
till Ppt sends me her opinion, because Ppt is a great lawyer. I dined to-day
with a mixture of people at a Scotchman's, who made the invitation to Mr.
Lewis and me, and has some design upon us, which we know very well. I went
afterwards to see a famous moving picture,[13] and I never saw anything so
pretty. You see a sea ten miles wide, a town on t'other end, and ships
sailing in the sea, and discharging their cannon. You see a great sky, with
moon and stars, etc. I'm a fool. Nite, dee MD.

28. I had a mighty levee to-day. I deny myself to everybody, except about
half a dozen, and they were all here, and Mr. Addison was one, and I had
chocolate twice, which I don't like. Our rainy weather continues. Coach-hire
goes deep. I dined with Eltee and his Saturday company, as usual, and could
not get away till nine. Lord Peterborow was making long harangues, and Eltee
kept me in spite. Then I went to see the Bishop of Ossory, who had engaged me
in the morning; he is going to Ireland. The Bishop of Killaloe[14] and Tom
Leigh was with us. The latter had wholly changed his style, by seeing how the
bishops behaved themselves, and he seemed to think me one of more importance
than I really am. I put the ill conduct of the bishops about the First-
Fruits, with relation to Eltee and me, strongly upon Killaloe, and showed how
it had hindered me from getting a better thing for them, called the Crown
rents, which the Queen had promised. He had nothing to say, but was humble,
and desired my interest in that and some other things. This letter is half
done in a week: I believe oo will have it next. Nite MD.

29. I have been employed in endeavouring to save one of your junior
Fellows,[15] who came over here for a dispensation from taking orders, and, in
soliciting it, has run out his time, and now his fellowship is void, if the
College pleases, unless the Queen suspends the execution, and gives him time
to take orders. I spoke to all the Ministers yesterday about it; but they say
the Queen is angry, and thought it was a trick to deceive her; and she is
positive, and so the man must be ruined, for I cannot help him. I never saw
him in my life; but the case was so hard, I could not forbear interposing.
Your Government recommended him to the Duke of Ormond, and he thought they
would grant it; and by the time it was refused, the fellowship by rigour is
forfeited. I dined with Dr. Arbuthnot (one of my brothers) at his lodgings in
Chelsea, and was there at chapel; and the altar put me in mind of Tisdall's
outlandish would[16] at your hospital for the soldiers. I was not at Court
to-day, and I hear the Queen was not at church. Perhaps the gout has seized
her again. Terrible rain all day. Have oo such weather? Nite MD.

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