Ulysses
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James Joyce >> Ulysses
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--I'll see him now in the Ormond, Lenehan said, and sound him. One good
turn deserves another.
--Do, Tom Rochford said. Tell him I'm Boylan with impatience.
--Goodnight, M'Coy said abruptly. When you two begin
Nosey Flynn stooped towards the lever, snuffling at it.
--But how does it work here, Tommy? he asked.
--Tooraloo, Lenehan said. See you later.
He followed M'Coy out across the tiny square of Crampton court.
--He's a hero, he said simply.
--I know, M'Coy said. The drain, you mean.
--Drain? Lenehan said. It was down a manhole.
They passed Dan Lowry's musichall where Marie Kendall, charming
soubrette, smiled on them from a poster a dauby smile.
Going down the path of Sycamore street beside the Empire musichall
Lenehan showed M'Coy how the whole thing was. One of those manholes
like a bloody gaspipe and there was the poor devil stuck down in it, half
choked with sewer gas. Down went Tom Rochford anyhow, booky's vest
and all, with the rope round him. And be damned but he got the rope round
the poor devil and the two were hauled up.
--The act of a hero, he said.
At the Dolphin they halted to allow the ambulance car to gallop past
them for Jervis street.
--This way, he said, walking to the right. I want to pop into Lynam's to
see Sceptre's starting price. What's the time by your gold watch and
chain?
M'Coy peered into Marcus Tertius Moses' sombre office, then at
O'Neill's clock.
--After three, he said. Who's riding her?
--O. Madden, Lenehan said. And a game filly she is.
While he waited in Temple bar M'Coy dodged a banana peel with
gentle pushes of his toe from the path to the gutter. Fellow might damn
easy get a nasty fall there coming along tight in the dark.
The gates of the drive opened wide to give egress to the viceregal
cavalcade.
--Even money, Lenehan said returning. I knocked against Bantam Lyons in
there going to back a bloody horse someone gave him that hasn't an
earthly. Through here.
They went up the steps and under Merchants' arch. A darkbacked
figure scanned books on the hawker's cart.
--There he is, Lenehan said.
--Wonder what he's buying, M'Coy said, glancing behind.
--LEOPOLDO OR THE BLOOM IS ON THE RYE, Lenehan said.
--He's dead nuts on sales, M'Coy said. I was with him one day and he
bought a book from an old one in Liffey street for two bob. There were
fine plates in it worth double the money, the stars and the moon and
comets with long tails. Astronomy it was about.
Lenehan laughed.
--I'll tell you a damn good one about comets' tails, he said. Come over in
the sun.
They crossed to the metal bridge and went along Wellington quay by
the riverwall.
Master Patrick Aloysius Dignam came out of Mangan's, late
Fehrenbach's, carrying a pound and a half of porksteaks.
--There was a long spread out at Glencree reformatory, Lenehan said
eagerly. The annual dinner, you know. Boiled shirt affair. The lord mayor
was there, Val Dillon it was, and sir Charles Cameron and Dan Dawson
spoke and there was music. Bartell d'Arcy sang and Benjamin Dollard ...
--I know, M'Coy broke in. My missus sang there once.
--Did she? Lenehan said.
A card UNFURNISHED APARTMENTS reappeared on the windowsash of
number 7 Eccles street.
He checked his tale a moment but broke out in a wheezy laugh.
--But wait till I tell you, he said. Delahunt of Camden street had the
catering and yours truly was chief bottlewasher. Bloom and the wife were
there. Lashings of stuff we put up: port wine and sherry and curacao to
which we did ample justice. Fast and furious it was. After liquids came
solids. Cold joints galore and mince pies ...
--I know, M'Coy said. The year the missus was there ...
Lenehan linked his arm warmly.
--But wait till I tell you, he said. We had a midnight lunch too after all
the jollification and when we sallied forth it was blue o'clock the
morning after the night before. Coming home it was a gorgeous winter's
night on the Featherbed Mountain. Bloom and Chris Callinan were on one
side of the car and I was with the wife on the other. We started singing
glees and duets: LO, THE EARLY BEAM OF MORNING. She was well primed with a
good load of Delahunt's port under her bellyband. Every jolt the bloody
car gave I had her bumping up against me. Hell's delights! She has a fine
pair, God bless her. Like that.
He held his caved hands a cubit from him, frowning:
--I was tucking the rug under her and settling her boa all the time. Know
what I mean?
His hands moulded ample curves of air. He shut his eyes tight in
delight, his body shrinking, and blew a sweet chirp from his lips.
--The lad stood to attention anyhow, he said with a sigh. She's a gamey
mare and no mistake. Bloom was pointing out all the stars and the comets
in the heavens to Chris Callinan and the jarvey: the great bear and
Hercules and the dragon, and the whole jingbang lot. But, by God, I was
lost, so to speak, in the milky way. He knows them all, faith. At last she
spotted a weeny weeshy one miles away. AND WHAT STAR IS THAT, POLDY? says
she. By God, she had Bloom cornered. THAT ONE, IS IT? says Chris Callinan,
SURE THAT'S ONLY WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL A PINPRICK. By God, he wasn't far
wide of the mark.
Lenehan stopped and leaned on the riverwall, panting with soft
laughter.
--I'm weak, he gasped.
M'Coy's white face smiled about it at instants and grew grave.
Lenehan walked on again. He lifted his yachtingcap and scratched his
hindhead rapidly. He glanced sideways in the sunlight at M'Coy.
--He's a cultured allroundman, Bloom is, he said seriously. He's not one
of your common or garden ... you know ... There's a touch of the artist
about old Bloom.
* * * * *
Mr Bloom turned over idly pages of THE AWFUL DISCLOSURES OF MARIA
MONK, then of Aristotle's MASTERPIECE. Crooked botched print. Plates:
infants cuddled in a ball in bloodred wombs like livers of slaughtered
cows. Lots of them like that at this moment all over the world. All
butting with their skulls to get out of it. Child born every minute
somewhere. Mrs Purefoy.
He laid both books aside and glanced at the third: TALES OF THE GHETTO
by Leopold von Sacher Masoch.
--That I had, he said, pushing it by.
The shopman let two volumes fall on the counter.
--Them are two good ones, he said.
Onions of his breath came across the counter out of his ruined
mouth. He bent to make a bundle of the other books, hugged them against
his unbuttoned waistcoat and bore them off behind the dingy curtain.
On O'Connell bridge many persons observed the grave deportment
and gay apparel of Mr Denis J Maginni, professor of dancing &c.
Mr Bloom, alone, looked at the titles. FAIR TYRANTS by James Lovebirch.
Know the kind that is. Had it? Yes.
He opened it. Thought so.
A woman's voice behind the dingy curtain. Listen: the man.
No: she wouldn't like that much. Got her it once.
He read the other title: SWEETS OF SIN. More in her line. Let us see.
He read where his finger opened.
--ALL THE DOLLARBILLS HER HUSBAND GAVE HER WERE SPENT IN THE STORES ON
WONDROUS GOWNS AND COSTLIEST FRILLIES. FOR HIM! FOR RAOUL!
Yes. This. Here. Try.
--HER MOUTH GLUED ON HIS IN A LUSCIOUS VOLUPTUOUS KISS WHILE HIS HANDS
FELT FOR THE OPULENT CURVES INSIDE HER DESHABILLE.
Yes. Take this. The end.
--YOU ARE LATE, HE SPOKE HOARSELY, EYING HER WITH A SUSPICIOUS GLARE.
THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN THREW OFF HER SABLETRIMMED WRAP, DISPLAYING HER
QUEENLY SHOULDERS AND HEAVING EMBONPOINT. AN IMPERCEPTIBLE SMILE PLAYED
ROUND HER PERFECT LIPS AS SHE TURNED TO HIM CALMLY.
Mr Bloom read again: THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
Warmth showered gently over him, cowing his flesh. Flesh yielded
amply amid rumpled clothes: whites of eyes swooning up. His nostrils
arched themselves for prey. Melting breast ointments (FOR HIM! FOR
RAOUL!). Armpits' oniony sweat. Fishgluey slime (HER HEAVING EMBONPOINT!).
Feel! Press! Crushed! Sulphur dung of lions!
Young! Young!
An elderly female, no more young, left the building of the courts of
chancery, king's bench, exchequer and common pleas, having heard in the
lord chancellor's court the case in lunacy of Potterton, in the admiralty
division the summons, exparte motion, of the owners of the Lady Cairns
versus the owners of the barque Mona, in the court of appeal reservation
of judgment in the case of Harvey versus the Ocean Accident and Guarantee
Corporation.
Phlegmy coughs shook the air of the bookshop, bulging out the dingy
curtains. The shopman's uncombed grey head came out and his unshaven
reddened face, coughing. He raked his throat rudely, puked phlegm on the
floor. He put his boot on what he had spat, wiping his sole along it, and
bent, showing a rawskinned crown, scantily haired.
Mr Bloom beheld it.
Mastering his troubled breath, he said:
--I'll take this one.
The shopman lifted eyes bleared with old rheum.
--SWEETS OF SIN, he said, tapping on it. That's a good one.
* * * * *
The lacquey by the door of Dillon's auctionrooms shook his handbell
twice again and viewed himself in the chalked mirror of the cabinet.
Dilly Dedalus, loitering by the curbstone, heard the beats of the bell,
the cries of the auctioneer within. Four and nine. Those lovely curtains.
Five shillings. Cosy curtains. Selling new at two guineas. Any advance on
five shillings? Going for five shillings.
The lacquey lifted his handbell and shook it:
--Barang!
Bang of the lastlap bell spurred the halfmile wheelmen to their sprint.
J. A. Jackson, W. E. Wylie, A. Munro and H. T. Gahan, their stretched
necks wagging, negotiated the curve by the College library.
Mr Dedalus, tugging a long moustache, came round from Williams's
row. He halted near his daughter.
--It's time for you, she said.
--Stand up straight for the love of the lord Jesus, Mr Dedalus said. Are you
trying to imitate your uncle John, the cornetplayer, head upon shoulder?
Melancholy God!
Dilly shrugged her shoulders. Mr Dedalus placed his hands on them
and held them back.
--Stand up straight, girl, he said. You'll get curvature of the spine.
Do you know what you look like?
He let his head sink suddenly down and forward, hunching his
shoulders and dropping his underjaw.
--Give it up, father, Dilly said. All the people are looking at you.
Mr Dedalus drew himself upright and tugged again at his moustache.
--Did you get any money? Dilly asked.
--Where would I get money? Mr Dedalus said. There is no-one in Dublin
would lend me fourpence.
--You got some, Dilly said, looking in his eyes.
--How do you know that? Mr Dedalus asked, his tongue in his cheek.
Mr Kernan, pleased with the order he had booked, walked boldly
along James's street.
--I know you did, Dilly answered. Were you in the Scotch house now?
--I was not, then, Mr Dedalus said, smiling. Was it the little nuns taught
you to be so saucy? Here.
He handed her a shilling.
--See if you can do anything with that, he said.
--I suppose you got five, Dilly said. Give me more than that.
--Wait awhile, Mr Dedalus said threateningly. You're like the rest of
them, are you? An insolent pack of little bitches since your poor mother
died. But wait awhile. You'll all get a short shrift and a long day from
me. Low blackguardism! I'm going to get rid of you. Wouldn't care if I was
stretched out stiff. He's dead. The man upstairs is dead.
He left her and walked on. Dilly followed quickly and pulled his coat.
--Well, what is it? he said, stopping.
The lacquey rang his bell behind their backs.
--Barang!
--Curse your bloody blatant soul, Mr Dedalus cried, turning on him.
The lacquey, aware of comment, shook the lolling clapper of his bell
but feebly:
--Bang!
Mr Dedalus stared at him.
--Watch him, he said. It's instructive. I wonder will he allow us to talk.
--You got more than that, father, Dilly said.
--I'm going to show you a little trick, Mr Dedalus said. I'll leave you
all where Jesus left the jews. Look, there's all I have. I got two
shillings from Jack Power and I spent twopence for a shave for the
funeral.
He drew forth a handful of copper coins, nervously.
--Can't you look for some money somewhere? Dilly said.
Mr Dedalus thought and nodded.
--I will, he said gravely. I looked all along the gutter in O'Connell
street. I'll try this one now.
--You're very funny, Dilly said, grinning.
--Here, Mr Dedalus said, handing her two pennies. Get a glass of milk for
yourself and a bun or a something. I'll be home shortly.
He put the other coins in his pocket and started to walk on.
The viceregal cavalcade passed, greeted by obsequious policemen, out
of Parkgate.
--I'm sure you have another shilling, Dilly said.
The lacquey banged loudly.
Mr Dedalus amid the din walked off, murmuring to himself with a
pursing mincing mouth gently:
--The little nuns! Nice little things! O, sure they wouldn't do anything!
O, sure they wouldn't really! Is it little sister Monica!
* * * * *
From the sundial towards James's gate walked Mr Kernan, pleased
with the order he had booked for Pulbrook Robertson, boldly along
James's street, past Shackleton's offices. Got round him all right. How do
you do, Mr Crimmins? First rate, sir. I was afraid you might be up in your
other establishment in Pimlico. How are things going? Just keeping alive.
Lovely weather we're having. Yes, indeed. Good for the country. Those
farmers are always grumbling. I'll just take a thimbleful of your best
gin, Mr Crimmins. A small gin, sir. Yes, sir. Terrible affair that General
Slocum explosion. Terrible, terrible! A thousand casualties. And
heartrending scenes. Men trampling down women and children. Most brutal
thing. What do they say was the cause? Spontaneous combustion. Most
scandalous revelation. Not a single lifeboat would float and the firehose
all burst. What I can't understand is how the inspectors ever allowed a
boat like that ... Now, you're talking straight, Mr Crimmins. You know
why? Palm oil. Is that a fact? Without a doubt. Well now, look at that.
And America they say is the land of the free. I thought we were bad here.
I smiled at him. AMERICA, I said quietly, just like that. WHAT IS IT? THE
SWEEPINGS OF EVERY COUNTRY INCLUDING OUR OWN. ISN'T THAT TRUE? That's
a fact.
Graft, my dear sir. Well, of course, where there's money going there's
always someone to pick it up.
Saw him looking at my frockcoat. Dress does it. Nothing like a
dressy appearance. Bowls them over.
--Hello, Simon, Father Cowley said. How are things?
--Hello, Bob, old man, Mr Dedalus answered, stopping.
Mr Kernan halted and preened himself before the sloping mirror of Peter
Kennedy, hairdresser. Stylish coat, beyond a doubt. Scott of Dawson
street. Well worth the half sovereign I gave Neary for it. Never built
under three guineas. Fits me down to the ground. Some Kildare street club
toff had it probably. John Mulligan, the manager of the Hibernian bank,
gave me a very sharp eye yesterday on Carlisle bridge as if he remembered
me.
Aham! Must dress the character for those fellows. Knight of the road.
Gentleman. And now, Mr Crimmins, may we have the honour of your
custom again, sir. The cup that cheers but not inebriates, as the old
saying has it.
North wall and sir John Rogerson's quay, with hulls and
anchorchains, sailing westward, sailed by a skiff, a crumpled throwaway,
rocked on the ferrywash, Elijah is coming.
Mr Kernan glanced in farewell at his image. High colour, of course.
Grizzled moustache. Returned Indian officer. Bravely he bore his stumpy
body forward on spatted feet, squaring his shoulders. Is that Ned
Lambert's brother over the way, Sam? What? Yes. He's as like it as damn
it. No. The windscreen of that motorcar in the sun there. Just a flash
like that. Damn like him.
Aham! Hot spirit of juniper juice warmed his vitals and his breath. Good
drop of gin, that was. His frocktails winked in bright sunshine to his
fat strut.
Down there Emmet was hanged, drawn and quartered. Greasy black
rope. Dogs licking the blood off the street when the lord lieutenant's
wife drove by in her noddy.
Bad times those were. Well, well. Over and done with. Great topers
too. Fourbottle men.
Let me see. Is he buried in saint Michan's? Or no, there was a
midnight burial in Glasnevin. Corpse brought in through a secret door in
the wall. Dignam is there now. Went out in a puff. Well, well. Better turn
down here. Make a detour.
Mr Kernan turned and walked down the slope of Watling street by
the corner of Guinness's visitors' waitingroom. Outside the Dublin
Distillers Company's stores an outside car without fare or jarvey stood,
the reins knotted to the wheel. Damn dangerous thing. Some Tipperary
bosthoon endangering the lives of the citizens. Runaway horse.
Denis Breen with his tomes, weary of having waited an hour in John
Henry Menton's office, led his wife over O'Connell bridge, bound for the
office of Messrs Collis and Ward.
Mr Kernan approached Island street.
Times of the troubles. Must ask Ned Lambert to lend me those reminiscences
of sir Jonah Barrington. When you look back on it all now in a kind of
retrospective arrangement. Gaming at Daly's. No cardsharping then.
One of those fellows got his hand nailed to the table by a dagger.
Somewhere here lord Edward Fitzgerald escaped from major Sirr. Stables
behind Moira house.
Damn good gin that was.
Fine dashing young nobleman. Good stock, of course. That ruffian, that
sham squire, with his violet gloves gave him away. Course they were on
the wrong side. They rose in dark and evil days. Fine poem that is:
Ingram. They were gentlemen. Ben Dollard does sing that ballad touchingly.
Masterly rendition.
AT THE SIEGE OF ROSS DID MY FATHER FALL.
A cavalcade in easy trot along Pembroke quay passed, outriders
leaping, leaping in their, in their saddles. Frockcoats. Cream sunshades.
Mr Kernan hurried forward, blowing pursily.
His Excellency! Too bad! Just missed that by a hair. Damn it! What a pity!
* * * * *
Stephen Dedalus watched through the webbed window the lapidary's
fingers prove a timedulled chain. Dust webbed the window and the
showtrays. Dust darkened the toiling fingers with their vulture nails.
Dust slept on dull coils of bronze and silver, lozenges of cinnabar,
on rubies, leprous and winedark stones.
Born all in the dark wormy earth, cold specks of fire, evil, lights
shining in the darkness. Where fallen archangels flung the stars of their
brows. Muddy swinesnouts, hands, root and root, gripe and wrest them.
She dances in a foul gloom where gum bums with garlic. A
sailorman, rustbearded, sips from a beaker rum and eyes her. A long and
seafed silent rut. She dances, capers, wagging her sowish haunches and her
hips, on her gross belly flapping a ruby egg.
Old Russell with a smeared shammy rag burnished again his gem,
turned it and held it at the point of his Moses' beard. Grandfather ape
gloating on a stolen hoard.
And you who wrest old images from the burial earth? The brainsick
words of sophists: Antisthenes. A lore of drugs. Orient and immortal wheat
standing from everlasting to everlasting.
Two old women fresh from their whiff of the briny trudged through
Irishtown along London bridge road, one with a sanded tired umbrella, one
with a midwife's bag in which eleven cockles rolled.
The whirr of flapping leathern bands and hum of dynamos from the
powerhouse urged Stephen to be on. Beingless beings. Stop! Throb always
without you and the throb always within. Your heart you sing of. I between
them. Where? Between two roaring worlds where they swirl, I. Shatter
them, one and both. But stun myself too in the blow. Shatter me you who
can. Bawd and butcher were the words. I say! Not yet awhile. A look
around.
Yes, quite true. Very large and wonderful and keeps famous time. You
say right, sir. A Monday morning, 'twas so, indeed.
Stephen went down Bedford row, the handle of the ash clacking
against his shoulderblade. In Clohissey's window a faded 186O print of
Heenan boxing Sayers held his eye. Staring backers with square hats stood
round the roped prizering. The heavyweights in tight loincloths proposed
gently each to other his bulbous fists. And they are throbbing: heroes'
hearts.
He turned and halted by the slanted bookcart.
--Twopence each, the huckster said. Four for sixpence.
Tattered pages. THE IRISH BEEKEEPER. LIFE AND MIRACLES OF THE CURE' OF
ARS. POCKET GUIDE TO KILLARNEY.
I might find here one of my pawned schoolprizes. STEPHANO DEDALO,
ALUMNO OPTIMO, PALMAM FERENTI.
Father Conmee, having read his little hours, walked through the
hamlet of Donnycarney, murmuring vespers.
Binding too good probably. What is this? Eighth and ninth book of
Moses. Secret of all secrets. Seal of King David. Thumbed pages: read and
read. Who has passed here before me? How to soften chapped hands.
Recipe for white wine vinegar. How to win a woman's love. For me this.
Say the following talisman three times with hands folded:
--SE EL YILO NEBRAKADA FEMININUM! AMOR ME SOLO! SANKTUS! AMEN.
Who wrote this? Charms and invocations of the most blessed abbot
Peter Salanka to all true believers divulged. As good as any other abbot's
charms, as mumbling Joachim's. Down, baldynoddle, or we'll wool your wool.
--What are you doing here, Stephen?
Dilly's high shoulders and shabby dress.
Shut the book quick. Don't let see.
--What are you doing? Stephen said.
A Stuart face of nonesuch Charles, lank locks falling at its sides. It
glowed as she crouched feeding the fire with broken boots. I told her of
Paris. Late lieabed under a quilt of old overcoats, fingering a pinchbeck
bracelet, Dan Kelly's token. NEBRAKADA FEMININUM.
--What have you there? Stephen asked.
--I bought it from the other cart for a penny, Dilly said, laughing
nervously. Is it any good?
My eyes they say she has. Do others see me so? Quick, far and
daring. Shadow of my mind.
He took the coverless book from her hand. Chardenal's French primer.
--What did you buy that for? he asked. To learn French?
She nodded, reddening and closing tight her lips.
Show no surprise. Quite natural.
--Here, Stephen said. It's all right. Mind Maggy doesn't pawn it on you. I
suppose all my books are gone.
--Some, Dilly said. We had to.
She is drowning. Agenbite. Save her. Agenbite. All against us. She will
drown me with her, eyes and hair. Lank coils of seaweed hair around me,
my heart, my soul. Salt green death.
We.
Agenbite of inwit. Inwit's agenbite.
Misery! Misery!
* * * * *
--Hello, Simon, Father Cowley said. How are things?
--Hello, Bob, old man, Mr Dedalus answered, stopping.
They clasped hands loudly outside Reddy and Daughter's. Father
Cowley brushed his moustache often downward with a scooping hand.
--What's the best news? Mr Dedalus said.
--Why then not much, Father Cowley said. I'm barricaded up, Simon, with
two men prowling around the house trying to effect an entrance.
--Jolly, Mr Dedalus said. Who is it?
--O, Father Cowley said. A certain gombeen man of our acquaintance.
--With a broken back, is it? Mr Dedalus asked.
--The same, Simon, Father Cowley answered. Reuben of that ilk. I'm just
waiting for Ben Dollard. He's going to say a word to long John to get him
to take those two men off. All I want is a little time.
He looked with vague hope up and down the quay, a big apple bulging
in his neck.
--I know, Mr Dedalus said, nodding. Poor old bockedy Ben! He's always
doing a good turn for someone. Hold hard!
He put on his glasses and gazed towards the metal bridge an instant.
--There he is, by God, he said, arse and pockets.
Ben Dollard's loose blue cutaway and square hat above large slops
crossed the quay in full gait from the metal bridge. He came towards them
at an amble, scratching actively behind his coattails.
As he came near Mr Dedalus greeted:
--Hold that fellow with the bad trousers.
--Hold him now, Ben Dollard said.
Mr Dedalus eyed with cold wandering scorn various points of Ben
Dollard's figure. Then, turning to Father Cowley with a nod, he muttered
sneeringly:
--That's a pretty garment, isn't it, for a summer's day?
--Why, God eternally curse your soul, Ben Dollard growled furiously, I
threw out more clothes in my time than you ever saw.
He stood beside them beaming, on them first and on his roomy
clothes from points of which Mr Dedalus flicked fluff, saying:
--They were made for a man in his health, Ben, anyhow.
--Bad luck to the jewman that made them, Ben Dollard said. Thanks be to
God he's not paid yet.
--And how is that BASSO PROFONDO, Benjamin? Father Cowley asked.
Cashel Boyle O'Connor Fitzmaurice Tisdall Farrell, murmuring,
glassyeyed, strode past the Kildare street club.
Ben Dollard frowned and, making suddenly a chanter's mouth, gave
forth a deep note.
--Aw! he said.
--That's the style, Mr Dedalus said, nodding to its drone.
--What about that? Ben Dollard said. Not too dusty? What?
He turned to both.
--That'll do, Father Cowley said, nodding also.
The reverend Hugh C. Love walked from the old chapterhouse of
saint Mary's abbey past James and Charles Kennedy's, rectifiers, attended
by Geraldines tall and personable, towards the Tholsel beyond the ford of
hurdles.
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