Gaston Leroux - "The Mystery of the Yellow Room"

John Oxley - "Journals of Two Expeditions into the Interior of New South Wales"

T.S. Arthur - "New Temperance Tales. No. 1: The Son of My Friend"

Several - "Wenyuange Sikuquanshu"

Winding Paths

G >> Gertrude Page >> Winding Paths




Supposing such a moment had come to her with such a man, when she, like
him, was in the first flush of youth and beauty; of dreams and hopes,
and rich believing. What a knight for a lovely maid! What a lover to
dream of bashfully and fearfully; and with all her soul one thought of
him.

From her vantage ground of much doing and much knowing, she looked back
yearningly to the bloom and springtide of life, when all splendid
things are possible, and any day may bring the splendid knight.

And instead had come... ah, what?

Well! For her it had been the wolf in sheep's clothing, who, beside
all he had robbed her of, had taken all her chance of the one great
awakening to blinding joy. Now she could only look upon the joy from
afar, seeing a barrier of fateful years, and, like a drawn sword at the
gate of her dream, the stern, unyielding decree that has echoed
unchanged down the long centuries: "Thou shalt not - "

Alymer was silent too, standing with the thoughtful expression on his
face that was so attractive, probing a little nervously into that wish
he had expressed, and wondering a little uncertainly just what it meant.

Then Lorraine got up.

"You are grave, _mon ami_; and it is the springtime. Grave thoughts
are for the autumn of life - recklessness better becomes the joyful
spring."

"Are you ever reckless nowadays?" he asked, watching her graceful
movements as she bent down and buried her face in a cushion of violets.

"I am when I smell violets. They may be modest and retiring little
flowers, but they hold spring rapture and spring lavishness and spring
desiring in their scent all the same."

"Then you are reckless now?"

What was it made him dally thus upon dangerous ground? What was it
made him speak to Lorraine as he had never spoken before, on the very
day after his mother's admonition? Why did his immense height and
strength and the young vigour in his blood suddenly blot out the years
that lay between them, and sweep into his soul, the knowledge of his
masculinity and might, which of its own nature possessively dominated
her femininity?

They seemed all at once to have strayed into an atmosphere, born of
that warning admonition, and of their talk, of the reckless, creative
spring; and because, in spite of his youth, he was very much a man, and
she was a dangerously attractive woman, his pulses leapt fitfully and
eagerly with the swift ache that has existed ever since God made man
and woman.

Without looking up, Lorraine felt this. The very air about them seemed
charged with it, and she too, under some spell of springtime, moved
into closer proximity to the splendid knight. She brushed against his
arm unconsciously; and looking down on the top of her dark head, he
said half-shyly:

"You somehow seem such a little thing to-day, Lorraine, I feel as if I
could pick you up, as one does a small child."

"Please don't," with a low laugh - "just think of my dignity."

"But you are not dignified to-day. You seem as young and light-hearted
as the springtime. I feel as if I must be years older than you."

She raised her face suddenly, with yearning eyes:

"Oh, let us emulate the spring this once - let us both be young and
foolish and real, and pretend there isn't any one else in the world."

Fore one second he looked at her with wondering incredulity, then, with
a tender little laugh he suddenly bent down and folded his arms round
her till she seemed to vanish altogether into his embrace, and kissed
her on the lips.

"The scent of violets has intoxicated us," he said, and kissed her
again.

Then he gently pushed her into her big, deep chair.

"I'm going now. I only ran in to see how you were after that bad
headache. You must bring the lilies and malmaisons back to-morrow, or
I shall be offending so grievously you will forbid me the flat.
Good-bye!" And without another word he went away out of the room.

Lorraine sat quite still, and let the spell wrap her round for the
precious moments that she could yet hold it. Of course it could not
stay. In an hour at most she would be her old, brain-weary self again,
with the best of her youth behind her; while he was still there on the
treshold, young and strong and free. But even this one short hour was
good. Life had not given her many such. She would fence it round with
silence, and solitude, and the scent of violets.

Alymer went out into the streets wondering at himself vaguely, and yet
with a pleasant glow of memory. He felt it bewildering that Lorraine
Vivian, whose favours were so eagerly sought by men, should have
allowed him to kiss her.

It seemed something apart altogether from her generous friendship and
helpful influence. It made him pleased with himself, and filled his
mind with a yet greater tenderness to her. He knew so much now of her
early difficulties and following troubles - of the frivolous,
unprincipled mother, and the long, uphill fight. She had honoured him
with her confidence in spite of his youth, and now -

He quickened his steps, and his pulses leapt yet more fitfully. Spring
was in the air and in his blood, and one of the recognised beauties of
London had been gracious to him beyond all dreaming.

It was enough for the present hour. Why ask any inconvenient questions
and spoil it all? Let the future look after itself.

Only one thought for a moment cast a little shadow upon his ardour. It
crossed his mind, for no accountable reason, to wonder what Hal would
think. He was a little afraid she would strongly disapprove.

But, after all, if she did, what matter? He owed nothing to Hal, and
there was no reason why her views should disturb him in the least. Of
course it did not... and yet... Hal's good opinion was a thing worth
having; and, in short, he hoped she would not know.

It was not that she was straight-laced. She was too near the heart of
humanity through her daily toil to be other than a generous judge; but
she was also a creature of ideals for herself and for those who would
be among her best friends; and she would have known unerringly that no
great, consuming love had drowned his reason and filled his senses.

It was for that she would have judged him; and for that he would have
stood before her direct gaze ashamed. One might be gay and
irresponsible and merry, but there were just one or two things which
must not be allowed in that category. Instinctively, he knew that in
Hal's view he would have transgressed - not because he felt too much,
but because he felt too little to be justified.

But why need she know? Why need any one know? He did not think his
mother would follow up any further the story she had been told, and he
would see his aunt about it personally. It was better to have it out
with her, lest she took upon herself to interview Lorraine, and make
more trouble still.

He ran up the stairs to the flat, two steps at a time; and scrambled to
get changed for the dinner to which he was going, still feeling a
pulsing thrill that, among all men, he was Lorraine Vivian's chosen
friend.

In another flat - a bachelor one in Ryder Street - an elderly beau,
likewise dressed for a dinner-party, though with the utmost care and
precision, instead of a scramble. And to himself he said, as he took a
long, last look at the image he loved:

"I must go to-morrow morning and settle this little matter about
Alymer. No doubt Lorraine will be amazed to see how well-preserved I
am. She cannot have any real feeling for such a boy, and, after all, a
good-looking man of the world - "

He smiled to himself as over a thought that pleased him, and rang for
his servant to go out and hail a taxi.





CHAPTER XXIX


It was not difficult for Alymer to persuade himself that a little
diplomacy on his part would probably assuage his aunt's wish to upset
his friendship, and incidentally allay his mother's fears; but, as it
happened no one having his welfare so exceedingly at heart over this
matter with the actress was in any degree as amenable or as quietly
pacified as he imagined.

Another interview took place between his mother and his aunt, in which
the latter advised writing to Miss Vivian direct to tell her what his
father and mother thought of the friendship, and that an uncle of his
would call upon her at once.

To say that the letter was an insult is to put it mildly, though at the
same time it was not so much through intention as ignorance.

Lorraine read it with silent amazement, and thought the writer must be
mad. It seemed quite incredible that any lady in the twentieth century
should apparently be so ignorant concerning the status of a celebrated
actress. It was evidently taken for granted that she was an
adventuress of the worst type.

She was naturally somewhat angry and indignant, but decided it was not
worth while to take any notice, and merely awaited with some curiosity
the visit of the uncle who was to expostulate with her, and,
practically, offer her terms.

He came at about twelve o'clock, and he did not give his name, merely
asking to see Miss Vivian on a matter of business.

Lorraine dressed with special care, and looked her best when she
quietly entered the drawing-room. She gave an order to her maid with
the door half opened, in the most casual and imperturbed of voices,
then she came siowly in, closed the door behind her, and advanced
towards the figure standing on the hearth.

When she had taken two steps she stood still suddenly, and in a voice
that was rasping and harsh, exclaimed:

"_You!_ - "

Alymer's uncle squared his shoulders, stroked his white moustache with
a gallant air, and replied:

"Yes - er - Lorraine. We meet again, you see. I may say - er - I am
very glad indeed that it is so," and he advanced a step with
outstretched hand.

But Lorraine was rooted to the spot where she stood, and a sudden,
sharp fierceness seemed to burn in her eyes.

"Have-_you_-come-about-Alymer-Hermon?" she asked in slow, cutting
tones, as if each word was hammered out of a seething whirlpool of
suppressed emotions.

"Alymer is my nephew, and his mother asked me to come and - er - talk
to you about him. She is a good deal perturbed on his behalf - er -
because -"

"I do not want to know any more than I am able to gather from the
extraordinary epistle I received from her this morning. What I should
like to know is, did you agree to come here on this errand, knowing who
I was?"

The faded blue eyes of the carefully dressed old roué began to look
uncomfortably from one object to another; anywhere, indeed, but into
those scorching orbs, with their suppressed fires.

Then he took his courage in his hands, and tried again.

"My dear Lorraine, you seem to be taking rather a theatrical view of a
very commonplace matter. Of course it is bad for the boy to get mixed
up in a scandal, just at the beginning of his career, or, for the
matter of that, talked about with a celebrated actress whose husband is
known to be living somewhere. I have come to you as a man of the world,
to ask you as a woman of the world to be generous in the matter, and
help me to set the minds of his parents at rest at once - "

"Ah! It was as a man of the world you came to me before ; but then I -
I "-she gave a low, unpleasant laugh -" I wasn't a woman of the world,
you see, until you had taught me, and left me."

He did not quite know what the laugh meant, but now his old eyes were
roaming over the beauty that was yet hers, and memory was stirring, and
something made him reckless.

"Don't speak of it like that," he pleaded drawing a little nearer. "I
know I didn't perhaps treat you quite well; but if there are any amends
I can make now? - If you will let us be friends again? - "

"Amends - amends. What do I want with amends from such as you ?" And
her eyes flashed dangerously. He retreated quickly, with a hurt,
rather cowed expression.

"Well, Fate has thrown us together again and I am still a bachelor -
and I have money -"

"Do please try not to insult me any further."

Lorraine had grown calmer, though the dangerous look was still in her
eyes, and she moved away to the window, leaving a large space between
them, and half-turned her back to him.

"I have already burnt the epistle I received from Mrs. Hermon - its
insults were too utterly foolish to notice. You may go back and tell
her her son has never received any harm from me, and I absolutely
decline to discuss the question any further. As for yourself - you will
doubtless find a taxi on the rank, just outside."

"But, my dear lady, I cannot go back leaving the matter like that."

He grew emboldened again, now that he could not see her eyes.

"I am here to plead on Alymer's behalf. If you are fond of him, you
must at least listen to reason for his sake."

"Not from you. And who are his people that they dare to treat me like
this? . . . First an insulting letter, and then an emissary such as
you - "

"Alymer is my nephew, and his mother is my sister, and therefore I am a
most suitable emissary, except for a certain incident of long ago,
which has long been consigned to oblivion by both of us, I am sure. The
boy is
young. He is on the threshold of life and a great career. What will be
the result, do you think, if you refuse to listen, and perhaps ruin his
prospects for your own pleasure ?"

She turned back to him a moment, and the smouldering fires leaped up.

"I was young. I was on the treshold of life. What did you care for my
youth or my future? What do other men like you care? My mother was
lax, and you knew it. I believe you gave her diamonds. And now you
come to me and ask me to spare your nephew - _you_ come - _you!_..."
and the scorn in her voice lashed him like a stinging whip.

But lie tried valiantly to stand his ground, though all his fine attire
and air of bravado could not save his visible shrinking into a faded,
dissipated, worthless-looking old rogue.

"If you won't listen to any plea from me, will you permit me to make
one from his mother, and appeal to the woman in you to realise her
anxiety ?"

Lorraine turned again to the window and looked out upon the silver,
shining river. And suddenly it was as though all her soul rose up in
arms. She felt with swift passion that it seemed to matter so much in
the world that a young man with a promising future should not run any
risk of harm from an older woman.

But if it was a young woman, and an older man, what did it matter then
! Why, the very man who would have hurt her could allow himself to
plead for another young thing, if that other were a man.

Doubtless he would argue, as all the rest of them, that years in men
craved the freshness and revivifying of youth it was only natural, and
a woman mattered so much less. But the mature woman herself, she has
no right to indulge in any longing for that same freshness and
revivifying.

Ten years ago this man had been lust at the age, and with just the
handsome, aristocratic appearance, in spite of iron-grey hair, that so
often attracts a girl in the early twenties. She scorns boys at that
age, and feels the compliment of being chosen by a man of the world
before the
many older women she cannot choose but see would gladly be in her
place. That it is her youth and not herself that holds the attraction
is unknown to her, and a clever man may often dupe her young affections.

Lorraine, with her romantic, imaginative temperament, had grown to
believe herself in love with him, and then had followed the old, sordid
story of insult and her consequent disillusionment. The memories stung
her now
with a bitter stinging heightened by the feeling that life cared so
much more for Alymer's welfare than it had ever done for hers.

And then that appeal to her woman's feeling to sympathise with the
perturbed mother.

Well, because she was his mother, surely she was blessed enough. What
had she - Lorraines - to place against that great fact ? She felt
painfully that in spite of her success her life was pitifully,
hopelessly barren, scarred this way and that, torn and rent and damaged
by mistake upon mistake which could never now be rectified.

A nausea of it all made her feel in those tense moments, gazing at the
serenely flowing river, that had she a child she would be borne away on
the smooth silver water with her little one, out of the fret and
turmoil, to some quiet nest in the cliffs at its mouth ; and there for
the years that
were left her she would fill her days with the peaceful, homely joys
that had never yet been hers.

But how could she go alone? Only in the uneventful days to find her
loneness intensified a thousand times, and without escape.

No; the river would flow on to that serene haven; but never for ever
would she and a little one of her own be borne on its motherly bosom to
the country of little things and peacefulness.

And the thought only stung her afresh; driving the sting in deep and
sharp while this man remained under her roof.

"Well," he said at last; and in the interval his voice seemed to have
regained some of its polished, self-possessed satisfaction. "I see you
are deep in thought. You were always tender-hearted, and I felt I
should not appeal to your womans heart in vain."

Her face was turned away, so that he could not see her expression, nor
read what was in her eyes, and purposely she let him go on.

"You will, I know, let me go back with the message Mrs. Hermon is
waiting for so anxiously. It will be quite simple. No doubt you have
countless admirers, and if you summon another, and let Alymer think he
is replaced, after the first hot-headed wrath he will quickly become
normal again, and apply all his faculties to his profession. I know
you are too clever not too appreciate just everything involved, and too
generous not to give the young man his best chance."

Then he cleared his throat, stroked his moustache, and waited,
wondering a little why she did not speak. He squared his shoulders
again, and glanced round to catch a reflection of himself in the
overmantel, then once more
stroked his moustache with a sleek air of growing satisfaction.

It had certainly been a most ticklish undertaking, and but for his
diplomacy, he believed one foredoomed to failure. But of course
Lorraine was a woman of the world, with a larger mixture of the other
kind of womanliness, perhaps, than was usual, and he in his
perspicacity had deftly appealed to both.

Then Lorraine turned round, and at the first glimpse of her face his
own fell, and suddenly he seemed to be shrinking visibly; as if he
would not ungladly have vanished through the floor.

She took a step or two forward, and stood in front of him with her head
held high, and those same scorching fires in her eyes ; and there was
something almost over-awing in the taut intensity of her whole
attitude, mental and physical.

"No," she said, in a cold, firm voice. "You may not go back and tell
Alymer's mother that I agree to cease my friendship with him for you
and for her. You may go back and tell her that because when I was
young you had no thought of my future, and no consideration for my
youth, I refuse absolutely to parley in the matter at all. I shall not
change my course of action by one iota. I shall not take any single
thought for the future. The future may take care of itself. If you can
estrange Alymer from me,
that is your affair. Rather than estrange him myself, I will bind him
closer.
That is my answer to you, and to the _lady_," with fine scorn, " who
sat down yesterday and penned that unheard-of letter to a fellow-woman
she knew nothing whatever against. Yet I think I could have charged
that to her evident ignorance concerning theatrical matters, and
forgiven her, if a monstrous irony had not sent you to plead her cause
- "

"My dear Lorraine," he interposed, but she stopped him with an
imperious gesture and continued:

"There is nothing for you to say, nothing that I am in the least likely
to listen to. You have evidently mis-understood my character from
first to last. Probably you even credited me with wantonness in those
far-off days when I was fool enough to believe all you swore to me of
love and devotion. However that may be, you tried to set my feet in
the wrong path, and when it suited you, gave me a push that further
evil might conveniently widen the breach between us. Probably you have
done much the same again since, and with as little compunction. What I
have to say to you now is just this, once again. Your mission to-day
is not merely useless; it has considerably aggravated any danger there
may have been. Because of every girl a middle-aged man has treated as
you sought to treat me I shall hold Alymer to his friendship if I can,
and use any influence I may have to increase rather
than decrease his visits.

"It may be fiendish of me. I don't know. I am no angel ; not even the
obliging soft-hearted fool you and Alymer's mother seem to have
concluded I might be. And what is more, if I had a vein of kindliness
and unselfish
consideration, you have done your utmost to stamp it out.
"Most of us are half good, and half bad. To-day, you have given the
devil in me an impetus such as it has seldom had before. That is your
affair. Go back and explain the real truth if you dare. Tell Mrs.
Hermon you found
the low adventuress a devil, and one that you yourself had tried to
help to make. Tell her " - again with that low, unpleasant laugh - "
that you fear the worst for Alymer.
That is all. Now you can go."

Once more he futilely tried to speak, but she only waved him aside, and
walked with a haughty, scornful step ahead of him.

"Jean," she called to her maid, as she passed through the little hall,
"Will you open the door for this gentleman?"

In her own room, she slid down into a large cushioned chair and sobbed
her heart out.




CHAPTER XXX

It was there Hal found her. By the merest chance she had run up to the
flat at her midday hour, to ask a question about Sir Edwin Crathie. and
a rumour concerning him that she felt an imperative need to have
answered. When she saw Lorraine in tears the question was instantly
banished for the moment.

Had Lorraine been in her normal condition, she could hardly have failed
to notice that the "Hal" who came up in haste to ask this urgent
question was not the "Hal" of a few months, a few weeks ago. She would
probably
have observed that the vague, indefinable change Alymer had seen in her
had grown more marked anti more defined.

She seemed to have sprung suddenly into womanhood.

It was no light-hearted, careless, rather boisterous girl who appeared
unexpectedly at the flat, to give her one or two eager hugs, tell her
the latest news of her doings in gay, gossipy fashion, and eat an
unconscionable amount of chocolates, usually kept for her special
delectation.

The old, bright look was there on the surface, the ready, laughing
speech, but there was also, with it, something that approached a
dignified phase, and suggested a new reserve. She was also distinctly
better-looking likewise, in some vague, incomprehensible way.

But Lorraine had not time to take any note of the change, for all her
faculties were bent upon shielding herself.

Of course it was useless to hide that she had been crying, but at least
Hal must not know that the crying had been soul-racking sobs.

With a look of consternation and dismay she, Hal, was across the room
in a bound, kneeling beside the big chair.

"My dear old girl, what in the world is the matter ?"

Lorraine contrived to smile with some appearance of reality, as she
dried her eyes, and said:

"I don't quite know. It's idiotic of me, isn't it? If you hadn't come
and stopped me, I should never have been able to appear to-night for
swollen eyes."

But Hal was not so easily put off. She grasped both Lorraine's hands
in hers and said resolutely:

"Why are you crying, Lorry?"

Feeling it hopeless to avoid some sort of a reason, she replied:

"I had a letter this morning that upset me rather. It is silly of me
to take any notice, and I shouldn't if I were well. I've been
wretchedly nervy lately, and it makes me silly about things."

"What was the letter about?"

"Oh, only some one who is jealous, I suppose; trying to get a little
satisfaction out of saying a few things that may hurt me. It is so
silly of me to mind."

Hal's mind immediately flew to Mrs. Vivian, and instead of inquiring
any further she just said:

"Poor old Lorry," and kissed her affectionately.

Then with a little laugh:

"I suppose you weren't going to have any lunch at all, but I'm
frightfully hungry. I hope to goodness there is something in the
house."

"Run and tell Jean to see cook about it, there's a dear. I must bathe
my eyes and try to look presentable."

While they lunched Hal chatted of many things, but she noted that
Lorraine was looking thin, and seemed to have something on her mind,
while she made no attempt to eat what was placed on her plate.

When she was pulling her gloves on later she asked:

"Why don't von take a week's holiday and go into the country, Lorry?...
It is no use going on until you are ill, as you did before."

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