The Visions of the Sleeping Bard
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Ellis Wynne >> The Visions of the Sleeping Bard
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I made all haste to leave their loathsome kennel, but I had not proceeded
far before I observed, to my astonishment, another prison full of women,
still more abominable; some had become frogs; some, dragons; some,
serpents, and there they swam about, hissing and foaming, and butting one
another, in a foetid, stagnant pool that was much larger than Bala Lake.
"Pray, what can these be?" asked I. "There are here," said he, "four
chief classes of women, not to mention their minions--Firstly: Panders,
who maintained harlots to sell their virginity an hundred times, and the
worst of these around them. Secondly: Mistresses of gossip, surrounded
by thousands of tale-bearing hags. Thirdly: Huntresses followed by a
pack of cowardly, skulking hounds, for no man ever dared approach them,
unless in fear of them. Fourthly: The scolds, become a hundredfold more
horrid than snakes, always grinding and gnashing their venomous stings."
"I would have deemed Lucifer too gracious a monarch to place a noble lady
of my rank with these vulgar furies," complained one, who much resembled
the others, but was far more hideous than a winged serpent. "Oh, that he
would send hither seven hundred of the basest demons of hell in exchange
for thee, thou poisonous hellworm," cried another ugly viper. "Many
thanks to you," quoth a gigantic devil, overhearing them, "we regard our
place and worth as something better; though ye would cause everyone as
much pain as we, yet we do not choose to be deprived of our office in
your favor." "And Lucifer hath another reason," whispered the Angel,
"for keeping strict guard over these, and that is, lest on breaking
loose, they might send all hell into utter confusion."
Thence we still descended until I saw an immense cavern wherein was such
fearful clamor that I had never heard the like before--swearing, cursing,
blaspheming, snarling, groaning and yelling. "Whom have we here?" I
asked. "This," answered he, "is the Den of Thieves; here are myriads of
foresters, lawyers and stewards, with old Judas in their midst." And it
grieved them sorely to behold a pack of tailors and weavers above them in
a more comfortable chamber. Hardly had I turned round when a demon, in
the shape of a steed, bore in a physician, and an apothecary, and hurled
them into the midst of the pedlars and horse cheats, because they had
sold worthless drugs. And they too began murmuring against being
allotted to such low society. "Stay, stay," cried one of the devils, "ye
deserve a better place," and he pitched them down amongst conquerors and
murderers. There were vast numbers in here for playing false dice and
cheating at cards, but before I had time to observe them closely, I could
hear by the door a huge crowd in wild tumult and shouts--hai, hw, ptrw-
how-ho-o-o-p--as of cattle being driven along. I turned round to see the
cause of it, but could perceive only the horned demons. I enquired of my
Guide if there were cuckolds with the devils. "No," said he, "they are
in another cell; these are drovers who wished to escape to the prison of
the Sabbath-breakers, and are sent here against their will." Thereupon I
look and saw that they had on their heads the horns of sheep and kine;
and those that were driving them on, cast them down beneath the feet of
blood-stained robbers. "Lie there," said one, "however much ye feared
footpads on the London road erstwhile, ye yourselves were the very worst
class of highwaymen, who made your living on the road and on robbery, yea
and by the perishing of many a poor family whom ye left in hunger, vainly
hoping for the sustenance of their possessions, while ye were in Ireland
or in the King's Bench laughing at them, or on the road with your wine
and lemans." On leaving the furnace-like cave, I caught a glimpse of a
haunt, which for loathsome, stinking abomination, went beyond anything
(with one sole exception) that I had set my eyes upon in hell,--where an
accursed herd of drunken swine lay weltering in the foulest slime.
The next den was the abode of Gluttony, where Dives and his companions,
wallowing on their bellies, devoured dirt and fire alternately, with
never a drop to drink. A little below this, was a very extensive
roasting-kitchen, where some were being roasted and boiled, others
broiling and flaming in a fiery chimney. "This is the place of the
merciless and the unfeeling," said the Angel. Turning a little to the
left, where there was a cell lighter than any I had so far seen, I asked
what place it was: "The abode of the Infernal Dragons," said he, "which
growl and rage, rush about and rend one another every instant." I drew
near and oh! what an indescribable sight they were! It was the glowing
fire of their eyes that gave all that light. "These are the descendants
of Adam," said my Guide, "scolds and raving, wrathful men; but yonder are
some of the ancient seed of the great Dragon, Lucifer;" but verily I
could not perceive any difference in loveliness between them. In the
next dungeon dwell the misers in awful torment, being linked by their
hearts to chests of burning coin, the rust of which was consuming them
without end, just as they had never thought of an end to the piling of
them, and now they were tearing themselves to pieces with more than
madness through grief and remorse. Below this was a charnel vault where
some of the apothecaries had been ground down and stuffed into
earthenware pots with Album graecum, dung, and many a stale ointment.
Ever downward we were journeying through the wilderness of ruin, in the
midst of untold and eternal tortures, from cell to cell, from dungeon to
dungeon, the last alway surpassing in monstrous ghastliness, until
finally we came within view of an enormous entrance hall, most unsightly
of all that I had previously seen. It was very spacious and terribly
steep, running in the direction of a gloomy red corner, full of the most
inconceivable abominations and horrors: it was the royal court. At the
upper end of the king's accursed hall, amidst thousands of other dread
sights, by the light my companion shed, I could see in the darkness two
feet of prodigious size, and so enormous as to overcast the whole
infernal firmament. I inquired of my Guide what such immensities might
be. "Thou shalt have a fuller view of this monster when returning," said
he, "but, come now, let us to see the court." As we were going down that
awful entrance hall, we heard behind us the noise as of very many people
advancing; on stepping aside to let them pass I noticed four divers host,
and upon enquiry I learnt that it was the four princesses of the City of
Destruction leading their subjects as an offering to their sire. I
distinguished the troop of the Princess of Pride, not only because they
insisted upon the foremost position, but also because they stumbled now
and then from want of keeping their eyes upon the ground. She led
captive kings without number, princes, courtiers, noblemen and braggarts,
many Quakers, and women innumerable and of all grades. Next to these
came the Princess of Lucre with her sly and crafty followers--a great
many of the brood of Simon Skinflint, money lenders, lawyers, userers,
stewards, foresters, harlots, and some of the clergy. Then came the
gracious Princess of Pleasure and her daughter Folly, leading her
subjects--players of dice, cards and back-gammon, conjurers, bards,
minstrels, storytellers, drunkards, bawds, balladmongers and pedlars with
their trinkets in countless number, to be at length instruments of
punishment to the damned fools.
When these three had taken their captives into the court to receive
judgment, Hypocrisy, last of all, brings in a more numerous troop than
any of the others, of every nation and age, from town and country,
patrician and plebeian, men and women. In the rear of this double-faced
legion we came within sight of the court; passing through the midst of
many dragons and horned demons, and hell's giants, the dusky porters of
the devil-hunted fire; I, the while, carefully hiding within the veil, we
entered that direful edifice: wonderful, and of amazing roughness was
every part of it; the walls were cruel rocks of burning adamant; the
floor was one unendurable extent of sharp-cutting flint, the roof of
fiery steel, meeting in an arch of greenish and blood-red flames,
similar, except in its size and heat, to a tremendous circular oven.
Opposite the door, upon a flame-encompassed throne sat the Evil One with
the lost archangels around him, seated on benches of terrible fire,
according to the rank they formerly bore in the region of light--the
lovely whelps--it would only be a waste of words to attempt to describe
how atrociously ugly they were, and the longer I gazed upon them,
sevenfold more frightful did they become. In the centre above Lucifer's
head was a huge hand grasping an awful bolt. The princesses, after
paying their courtesy, immediately returned to their duties on earth. No
sooner had they departed than at the King's bidding, a gigantic devil
with cavernous jaws set up a roar, louder than the discharge of a hundred
cannon, and as loud, were it possible, as the last trump, to proclaim the
infernal Parliament, and behold, without delay, the court and hall are
filled by the rabble of hell in every shape, each upon the form and image
of that particular sin he was wont to urge upon men. After enjoining
silence, Lucifer, looking steadfastly upon the chieftains nearest him,
began and spake these gracious words:-
"Ye peers of this profoundest gulf, princes of the hopeless gloom, if we
have lost the place we erst possessed, when, clothed with brightness, we
dwelt in those celestial, happy realms; yet, however great our fall,
'twas glorious, nought less than all did we hazard, nor is all lost--for,
behold regions wide and deep extending to the utmost bounds of desolate
Perdition still 'neath our sway. 'Tis true we reign while racked with
raging torment, yet, for spirits of our majesty, 'tis better to reign in
hell than serve in heaven. {85a} And what is more, we have well nigh won
another world, a greater than a fifth of earth has been for long beneath
my standard. And although our Omnipotent Enemy sent his own Son to die
for them, I, by my pleasing guile, gain ten for every one He gains
through his crucified Son. Though we cannot aspire to do hurt to Him on
high who hurls His all-conquering thunder, yet revenge by whatsoever
means is sweet. {85b} Let us then bring ruin on the rest of men who
adore our Destroyer. Well do I recollect the time when ye caused them,
their armies and their cities, to be consumed in horrible combustion, yea
and caused nigh all the dwellers on the earth to fall through the
whelming waters into this fire. But now, although your strength and
innate cruelty are no whit less, ye have been somewhat listless; were it
not for this, we would have long ago destroyed the godly few, and brought
the earth one with this our vast domain. But know this, ye grim
ministers of my wrath, if ye henceforth be not up and doing, valiantly
and with all haste, seeing the brevity of our alloted time, I swear by
Hell and by Perdition, and by the vast, eternal gloom, that upon you,
yourselves, my ire first shall fall, with pain the like of which the
oldest amongst you hath never proved." Whereupon he frowned until the
court became sevenfold darker than before.
Next him, Moloch one of the infernal potentates, stood up, and after
making due obeisance to his king, spake thus:- "Oh Emperor of the Sky,
great ruler of the darkness, none ever doubted my desire to practice
utmost bale and cruelty, for that has always been my pleasure; no sound
was more delightful to mine years than the shrieks of children perishing
in the flames outside Jerusalem, where in former days they were
sacrificed to me. And also after our crucified foe had returned to his
celestial home, I, during the reigns of ten emperors, continued as long
as it availed me, slaying and burning his followers in my attempt to
sweep the Christians off the face of the earth. And afterwards in Paris,
in England, and in several other places, did I cause many a massacre of
them; but what have we gained? The tree whose branches are lopped off
grows but the quicker; we snarl without the power of biting."
"Pshaw!" exclaimed Lucifer, "shame! cowardly hosts that ye are! Never
more will I place my trust in you. This work I myself will perform, this
enterprise none shall partake with me. {87a} In mine own imperial
majesty will I descend upon the earth, and alone will I devour all
therein contained; henceforth no man shall there be found to worship the
Most High." Thereon he gave one terrific flying leap to start--a blaze
of living fire, but the hand overhead whirls the terrible dart so that he
trembles notwithstanding his rage, and ere he had gone far, an invisible
hand drags the brute back by the chain for all his struggles; his rage
becomes sevenfold more vehement, his eyes more fierce than dragons, thick
black clouds of smoke issue from his nostrils, livid flames from his
mouth and bowels, while he gnaws his chain in his grief, and mutters
fearful blasphemy and awful oaths.
At last, finding how futile was his attempt to sunder his bonds and how
unavailing to contend against the Almighty, he returned to his throne and
resumed his speech, in words somewhat more calm, but twice as malignant:
"Though none but the Omnipotent Thunderer could overcome my power and my
guile, to Him I am unwillingly constrained to submit; but I can pour
forth the vials of my wrath here below, nearer at hand, and let loose my
ire upon those who are already under my banner, and within the length of
my chain. Arise, ye too, ministers of destruction, lords of the
unquenchable fires, and as my anger and my venom overflow, and my malice
rush forth, do ye assiduously scatter all broadcast among the damned, and
chiefly among the Christians; urge on the engines of torture to their
uttermost; devise and invent; increase the heat of the fire and the
ebullition, until the hissing flood of the cauldrons overwhelms them; and
when their unutterable woes are extremest, then sneer at them and
mockingly reproach them, and when ye have exhausted all your store of
scorn and gall, hie to me and ye shall be replenished."
A great stillness had brooded over hell for some time, while the pains
grew far more unbearable by being given no vent. But now the silence
which Lucifer had enjoined was broken, when the fierce butchers, like
bears maddened by hunger, fell upon their captives; then there arose such
doleful cries, such dismal howling, from every quarter, louder than the
roar of rushing torrents, than the rumble of an earthquake, till hell
itself became ten times more horrible. I would have died, had not my
friend saved me. "Quaff deep this time," said he, "to give thee strength
to behold things yet more dire." Hardly were the words from his lips,
when lo! heavenly Justice, who sits above the abyss, guardian of the
gates of Hell, advanced scourging three men with rods of fiery scorpions.
"Ha ha," cried Lucifer, "here are three reverend gentlemen whom Justice
thought worthy himself to conduct to my kingdom." "Woe's me," said one
of the three, "who ever wanted him to take the trouble?" "That matters
not," answered he, with a look that made the fiends wax pale, and tremble
so that they knocked one against the other, "it was the will of the
Infinite Creator that I myself should lead to their home such accursed
murderers." "Sirrah,"--addressing one of the demons,--"open me the fold
of the assassins, where Cain, Nero, Bradshaw, Bonner, Ignatius and
innumerable others like them dwell." "Alack, alack! we have never slain
any man," cried one. "No thanks to you that you did not, for time only
was wanting," said Justice. When the den was opened, there came out such
a hideous blast of blood-red flames, and such a shriek as if a thousand
dragons were uttering their death-wail. As Justice was passing by on his
return, in an instant he caused such a tempest of fiery whirlwinds to
fall upon the Evil One and his princes that Lucifer was swept away, and
with him Beelzebub, Satan, Moloch, Abadon, Asmodai, Dagon, Apolyon,
Belphegor, Mephistopheles, and all their compeers, and they were hurled
headlong into a whirlpool which opened and closed in the centre of the
court and which, both in aspect and in the execrable stench that arose
from it, was a hundredfold more foul and horrid than anything I had ever
seen. Before I could ask aught, quoth the Angel: "This is the gulf that
reaches to another great world." "What, pray, is that world called?" I
enquired. "'Tis called the bottomless pit or the Nethermost Hell, the
home of the devils, whither they now have gone. And those vast, dreary
wilds, parts of which thou hast traversed, are called the Region of
Despair, ordained for the condemned until the Judgment Day; then it will
become one with the utmost, bottomless Hell; then will one of us come and
seal up the devils and the damned together, never more to open upon them,
never to all eternity. In the meantime they have leave to come to this
colder country to torment lost souls. Yea, often are they suffered to
wander through the air, and about the earth, to tempt men into the
pernicious ways that lead to this horrible prison whence no man returns."
While listening to this account, and wondering that the entrance of
Perdition should differ so from that of the Upper Hell, I heard the
tremendous clash of arms, and the roar of artillery, from one quarter,
and what seemed like loud-rumbling thunder answering from another
quarter, while the deadly rocks resounded. "This is the turmoil of war!"
I cried, "if there be war in hell." "There is," said he, "there cannot
be but continuous warfare here." When we were on the point of going out
to know of the affair, I beheld the jaws of the Pit open and belch forth
thousands of hideous, greenish candles--for such had Lucifer and his
chiefs become after surviving the tempest. But when he heard the din of
war he turned more livid than Death, and began to call out, and levy
armies of his proven veterans to suppress the tumult. While thus
occupied he came across a little imp, who had escaped between the feet of
the warriors. "What is the matter?" demanded the King. "Such a matter
as will endanger your crown, an you look not to it." Close upon this
one's heels another devilish courier in a harsh voice cries: "You that
plan the disquietude of others, look now to your own peace; yonder are
the Turks, the Papists and the murderous Roundheads in three armies,
filling the whole plain of Darkness, committing every outrage and turning
everything topsy-turvey." "How came they out?" demanded the Evil One,
frowning more terribly than Demigorgon. "The Papists," said the
messenger, "somehow or other broke out of their purgatory, and then, to
pay off old scores, went to unhinge the portals of Mahomet's paradise,
and let loose the Turks from their prison, and afterwards in the
confusion, through some ill chance, Cromwell's crew escaped from their
cells." Then Lucifer turned and peered beneath his throne, where every
damned king lay, and commanded that Cromwell himself should be kept
secure in his kennel, and that all the sultans should be guarded.
Accordingly, Lucifer and his host hurried across the sombre wilds of
darkness, each one's own person furnishing light and heat; guided by the
tumultuous clangor he marched fearlessly upon them. Silence was
proclaimed in the King's name, and Lucifer demanded the cause of such
uproar in his realm. "May it please your infernal majesty," said
Mahomet, "a quarrel arose between myself and Pope Leo as to which had
done you the better service--my Koran or the Romish religion; and when
this was going on a pack of Roundheads, who had broken out of their
prison during the disorder, joined in and clamoured that their Solemn
League and Covenant deserved more respect at your hands than either; so,
from striving to striking from words to blows. But now, since your
majesty hath returned from hell, I lay the matter for your decision."
"Stay, we've not done with you yet," cried Pope Julius, and madly they
engage once more, tooth and nail, until the strokes clashed like
earthquakes; the three armies of the damned tore each other piecemeal,
and like snakes became whole again, and spread far and wide over the
jagged, burning crags, until Lucifer bade his veterans, the giants of
Hell, separate them, which indeed was no easy task.
When the conflict ceased, Pope Clement spake--"Thou Emperor of Horrors,
no throne has ever performed more faithful and universal service to the
infernal crown than have the bishops of Rome, throughout a large portion
of the world, for eleven centuries, and I hope you will allow none to vie
with them for your favor." "Well," said a Scotch-man of Cromwell's gang,
"however great has been the service of the Koran for these eight hundred
years, and of popish superstitions for a longer period, yet the Covenant
has done far more since its appearance, and everyone begins to doubt the
others and be weary of them, but we are still increasing, the wide world
over, and have much power in the island of your foes, that is, in Britain
and in London, the happiest city under the sun." "Ha ha," exclaimed
Lucifer, "if I hear rightly ye too are about to suffer disgrace there.
But whatever ye may have done in other kingdoms, I will have none of your
rioting in mine. Wherefore make your peace forthwith under the penalty
of more woes, bodily and spiritual." And at the word I could see many of
the fiends and all the damned, with their tails between their hoofs,
steal away to their holes in fear of a change for the worse.
Then after ordering all to be locked up in their lairs, and punishing and
dismissing the officers whose carelessness had allowed them to break
loose, Lucifer and his counsellors returned to the court, and sat once
more upon the fiery thrones, according to their rank; and when silence
had been obtained, and the court cleared, a burly, lob-shouldered devil
threw down at the bar a fresh load of prisoners. "Is this the way to
Paradise?" asked one (for they had no idea where they were). "Or if this
be Purgatory," said another, "I have a dispensation under the Pope's own
signet to pass straight on to Paradise, without a moment's delay
anywhere; wherefore show us the way, or by the Pope's toe, we will have
him punish you." "Ha ha," laughed a thousand demons, and Lucifer himself
opened his tusked jaws some half a yard in scornful laughter. At which
the new comers were sore amazed. "Look ye," said one, "if we have missed
our way in the dark, we will pay for guidance." "Ha ha," cried Lucifer,
"ye shall not hence till ye have paid the uttermost farthing." But on
searching them it was found that they had one and all left their trouser
behind. "Ye went past Paradise on the left above those mountains there,"
said the Evil One, "and although it is easy to descend hither, to return
is next to impossible, so dark and intricate is the country, so many
steep ascents of flaming iron are there on the way, and huge imminent
rocks, overhanging glaciers of insurmountable ice, and here and there, a
headlong cataract, all too difficult to clamber over, if ye have not
nails as long as a devil's. Ho there! convey these blockheads to our
paradise to their companions." Just then I heard voices drawing nigh,
swearing and cursing fearfully. "Fiends' blood! a myriad devils seize me
if ever I go!" and immediately the noisy crew were cast down before the
court. "There," exclaimed the steed that bore them, "there is fuel with
the best in hell." "What are they?" asked Lucifer. "Past masters in the
gentle art of swearing and cursing," said he, "who knew the language of
hell as well as we do." "A lie to your face, i' the devil's name!" cried
one. "Sirrah! wilt take my name in vain?" said the Evil One. "Ho, seize
them and hook them by their tongues, to that burning precipice, and be at
hand to serve them; if on one devil they call, or on a thousand, they
shall have their fill."
When these had departed, a gigantic fiend calls loudly for clearing the
bar, and throws down thereat a man who was a load in himself. "What hast
thou there?" demanded Lucifer. "An innkeeper," answered he. "What?"
cried the King, "only one innkeeper, when they used to come by the
thousands. Hast thou, sirrah, not been out for ten years, and dost bring
hither but one, and such an one as would serve us in the world better
than thee, foul lazy hound!" "You are too just to condemn me before
hearing me," pleaded he, "he was the only one laid to my charge, and now
I am rid of him. But I despatched you from his house many an idler who
drank his family's maintenance, and now and then a dicer, and card
player, a fine swearer, an innocent glutton, a negligent tapster and a
maid, harsh in the kitchen, but never a kinder abed or in the cellar."
"Although this fellow deserves to be with the flatterers beneath," said
the Evil One, "natheless take him to his comrades in the cell of the
liquid-poisoners, among the apothecaries and drugsters who have concocted
drinks to murder their customers; boil him well for that he did not brew
better beer." "By your leave," began the innkeeper tremblingly, "I
deserve no such treatment, the trade must be carried on." "Couldst thou
not have lived," quoth the Evil One, "without allowing rioting and
gambling, wantonness and drunkenness, oaths and quarrels, slanders and
lies? and wouldst thou, old hell-hound, now live better than we?
Prithee, tell what evil have we here which thou hadst not at thine home,
save the punishment alone? Indeed, to speak the plain truth here, the
infernal heat and cold are nothing new to thee. Hast thou not seen
sparks of our fire upon the tongues of the cursers and the scolds, whilst
dragging their husbands home? Was there not a deal of the undying flame
on the drunkard's lips or in the eyes of the angry? And couldst thou not
perceive a trace of hellish cold in the rake's generosity, and especially
in thine own kindness towards him as long as he had anything in his
possession; in the mocker's jest; in the praise of the envious and of the
defamer, in the promises of the lecherous, or in the limbs of thy boon
companions, benumbed beneath thy tables? Is hell strange to thee whose
very home is a hell? Aroint thee, flamhound, to thy penance!"
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