The Adventures of Mr. Verdant Green

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[316 ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN]

scholas, legendi, disputandi, et reliqua omnia faciendi, quae ad
gradum Baccalaurei in Artibus spectant."

When the Vice-Chancellor has spoken these remarkable words which,
after three years of university reading and expense, grant so much
that has not been asked or wished for, the newly-made Bachelors rush
out of the Convocation House in wild confusion, and stand on one side
to allow the Vice-Chancellarian procession to pass. Then, on
emerging from the Pig-market, they hear St. Mary's bells, which sound
to them sweeter than ever.

Mrs. Verdant Green is especially delighted with her husband's
voluminous bachelor's gown and white-furred hood (articles which Mr.
Robert Filcher, when helping to put them on his master in the
ante-chamber, had declared to be "the most becomingest things as was
ever wore on a gentleman's shoulders"), and forthwith carries him off
to be photographed while the gloss of his new glory is yet upon him.
Of course, Mr. Verdant Green and all the new Bachelors are most
profusely "capped;" and, of course, all this servile homage -
although appreciated at its full worth, and repaid by shillings and
quarts of buttery beer - of course it is most grateful to the
feelings, and is as delightfully intoxicating to the imagination as
any incense of flattery can be.

What a pride does Mr. Verdant Green feel as he takes his bride
through the streets of his beautiful Oxford! how complacently he
conducts her to lunch at the confectioner's who had supplied ~their~
wedding-cake! how he escorts her (under the pretence of making
purchases) to every shop at which he has

[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 317]

dealt, that he may gratify his innocent vanity in showing off his
charming bride! how boldly he catches at the merest college
acquaintance, solely that he may have the proud pleasure of
introducing "My wife!"

But what said Mrs. Tester, the bed-maker? "Law bless you, sir!" said
that estimable lady, dabbing her curtseys where there were stops,
like the beats of a conductor's ~baton~ - "Law bless you, sir! I've
bin a wife meself, sir. And I knows your feelings."

And what said Mr. Robert Filcher? "Mr. Verdant Green," said he, "I'm
sorry as how you've done with Oxford, sir, and that we're agoing to
lose you. And this I ~will~ say, sir! if ever there was a gentleman
I were sorry to part with, it's you, sir. But I hopes, sir, that
you've got a wife as'll be a good wife to you, sir; and make you ten
times happier than you've been in Oxford, sir!"

And so say we.

THE END.

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